


Shadow Play

by Elise_Madrid



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: M/M, Mirror Universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-19
Updated: 2011-05-19
Packaged: 2017-10-19 13:44:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 26,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/201518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elise_Madrid/pseuds/Elise_Madrid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kirk and Spock found a world where Rome never fell on Planet 892-IV. Their Mirror counterparts found one where it did.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shadow Play

**Author's Note:**

> Originally published Nov 2003 in Legends 3 by MKASHEF Enterprises.

Spock glanced at the man striding ahead of him as they exited the transporter room. The captain was in the middle of one of his well-known rampages. The human had gone from overwhelming relief to a towering rage in a matter of moments.

Once the beam had released him, Kirk’s first steps off the transporter platform had brought him directly to his first officer. With a determined scowl he had grabbed Spock’s beard and given it a not-so-gentle tug. The scowl had then turned to a beaming smile.

“Gods, it’s good to be home,” Kirk shouted.

Everyone in the transporter room visibly relaxed. It wasn’t any of their fault that their captain and the rest of the landing party had ended up in another place, another universe. But it would do no good to tell Kirk that.

“I take it your experience was not a pleasant one.” Spock addressed himself to Kirk, but it was McCoy who answered.

“You’re damn right it wasn’t. We spent most of our time in the brig.” The doctor shook his head in disgust and walked away, muttering under his breath. “I need a drink.”

Kirk grinned. “And how did our counterparts like their accommodations here?”

Spock visibly tensed as the room grew quiet and all eyes came to rest on their captain.

Kirk noticed the change. His gaze slid around the room, seeming to mark the slow retreat of his crew and the slight cringe whenever he looked directly at anyone in particular. He gave an especially penetrating stare to Lieutenant Moreau but said nothing. Finally he swung back to Spock. “All right, Spock. Let’s have it. What in Hades happened while I was gone?”

Spock’s lips pressed into a tight line. He would have preferred them alone when Kirk was advised of the new situation. Apparently, that was not to be an option. So be it. “We were not aware that a transposition had taken place. Your counterparts,” his gaze took in Mr. Scott and Lieutenant Uhura, “were given free access to all parts of the ship.”

“What do you mean, you weren’t aware? How could you not be aware?”

“They gave no indication that they were other than what they appeared.” Spock folded his arms across his chest, as if barricading himself from his captain’s ire. “It was only after he rescinded the destruct order against the Halkans that I began to—”

“He WHAT?” It was then that Kirk did what he had never done before. He grabbed Spock around the biceps, his fingers digging into the muscles beneath the blue satin. “You let him do that? On _my_ ship?”

Spock was too surprised to pull away. Through the physical contact he was being bombarded by Kirk’s anger. “Captain, we thought we were following _your_ orders.”

“My orders? Come off it, Mr. Spock. You should know me better than that by now. But how convenient for you if I should allow myself that huge a mistake. I imagine you’ve been contacted by the Council.”

“Yes. But there is still time to rectify the situation.”

“There better be. Damn it! How stupid are you people?” Suddenly, as if realizing who it was he was holding, Kirk let go with a shove that almost overbalanced his first officer. He turned and headed from the room. “Never mind. The rest of you get to your posts. Spock, you come with me. I want some answers and, Mister, they’d better be good.”

*****

Spock followed his captain in his customary half step behind as they made their way through the ship and, apparently, for Kirk’s cabin. That was a good sign. Only in his cabin would Kirk allow himself to be alone with someone. And, other than whatever woman happen to be sharing his bed at the moment, that privilege was reserved only for Spock. It implied to him that he still held a certain amount of Kirk’s trust, albeit an unspoken one. Spock wondered just how much of that unspoken trust would still be in place by the end of the day.

They entered the darkened room, leaving their security men in the corridor. As the door closed behind them Spock tried to unobtrusively examine his surroundings. Somewhere in this room was a weapon of vast power. What had that other Kirk said? A weapon that would make him invincible? What had the human seen? And would Moreau still be willing to tell Spock what it was and how to use it? Did he really want to know?

Kirk headed for the sleeping area and his bolero was off and his pants undone by the time he reached the dresser next to the sleeping area. “Pour yourself a drink...pour me one while you’re at it. I’m going to take a shower to wash away the stink of that place.”

“Was it truly that bad, Captain?” Spock picked up one of the flasks at the sideboard and poured them both a drink.

Kirk nodded as he balanced on one foot to remove his boot. “You wouldn’t believe it, Spock. I’ve never met a more pathetic bunch of people in my life. And your counterpart was the worst of the lot. I thought he was going to faint when I tried to have the Halkans destroyed.”

“At what point did they realize you were not who you seemed?”

The second boot hit the floor and Kirk bent over as he pushed his pants and briefs down and off in one forceful movement. He straightened and, bundling his clothes in a ball, shoved them down the laundry chute. “About thirty seconds after I got there. But your counterpart was looking at me like I’d grown a second head the moment I beamed aboard. It really was weird.” He grabbed his robe from the foot of the bed and shrugged into it, loosely tying the belt about his waist. “I’d almost swear he knew right then and there, before I’d said one word, that I wasn’t his captain.” Kirk frowned as he took the drink Spock brought to him. “It’s too bad I can’t say the same for you.”

With that parting shot, the human headed for a shower.

Spock went back to collect the bottle and his own glass and then took a seat at his captain’s desk to wait. This was only more of Kirk’s mental games. He would make Spock wait, “stew in his own juices,” before making him pay for every failure, imagined or not. At times, he felt a certain kinship with the human. They were both in positions of power, trying to stay alive without selling too much of their souls. But at others.... Kirk was an enigma. Spock wasn’t sure what Kirk wanted from him. An ally, yes. But never more than that.

Yet there had been moments when the human had allowed him to see a tiny piece of what lay hidden behind the wall Kirk had built around himself. Though brief, they gave hints of the man no one really knew. A lonely man in need of what Spock didn’t know. An eyebrow went up in bemused realization that his captain had not asked what kind of impression his own counterpart had made.

Spock sobered instantly. Perhaps it was for the best. How did you tell someone that you had met the man he could have been? A man so in tune with who he was and what he wanted, that Spock had nearly been swayed by the force of his personality. No, best to forget that man, and all his wild dreams of a better world and the brief glimpse Spock had caught of the life that Kirk shared with his own first officer.

The bathroom door slid open, followed by a cloud of steam that billowed out and then parted to release his slightly damp captain toweling his hair with one hand while holding the half empty drink in the other. After donning a clean uniform he walked over and took the seat behind the desk. “Okay, give.”

“I beg your pardon?” Spock would not go into this blind. He needed to know _exactly_ what Kirk was after.

“Don’t play stupid, Spock. I want to know what happened. _Everything_ that happened.” Kirk scowled and threw the towel on the floor. His hair was starting to curl about his face, giving him a boyish look. Spock knew he hated it.

“Very well.” His dissertation was long and involved as he attempted to impart all he knew of the event. Of course, he was not in possession of all the facts. Lieutenant Moreau would have to make her own peace with her lover. Still, there were some things best left unsaid. By the time he quieted, Kirk was somberly gazing into space, his crossed legs outstretched before him as he leaned back into the chair. The empty glass nestled against his chest was the only sign that he had moved at all during that time.

Finally the human stirred. He straightened and reached for the decanter Spock had placed on the desk. He filled his glass only half way. Spock’s he topped off with a grin. “After all that you deserve it. So, what do you think? You think Marlena will stick a knife in me one night?” He waved his hand when Spock started to respond. “Don’t say it. I know what I have to do. I’ll get her a transfer to some backwater station. That and a few threats should keep her quiet.”

“ _Threats_ , Captain?”

Kirk grinned sardonically. “They work if they’re the right ones...and if the person knows you’ll carry them out if you have to.” The smile left his face. “I can’t believe she was so willing to leave with him.”

“She was afraid. She had already helped him. And he had been kind to her.”

“Marlena wouldn’t know ‘kind’ if it hit her over the head. She didn’t get where she is being kind, Spock. None of us did. No, there was more to it than that.” He gave his first officer a penetrating stare. “Did she show you where it is?”

Spock didn’t have to ask what “it” was. “No, there was no time. I was informed of its existence only seconds before the second transposition was to occur.”

“Am I going to have to kill you?”

The words were softly spoken and laced with regret. Yet Spock understood that his next words would mean the difference between life and death. “I will not deny that I found your counterpart’s words intriguing. There is much within the Empire I would see changed. But you are my captain and this is my universe. Whatever he sought to encourage would not stand against such realities. You need not fear disloyalty on my part.”

Kirk nodded. He picked up his glass and, with a flourish, slammed back the drink. Placing the empty goblet on the desk, he motioned to Spock to pick up his own. “Go ahead, Spock.”

He hesitated only a moment. But then downed the liquid in one swallow, his eyes never leaving his captain. Spock could feel the potent beverage heat his throat and settle in a molten pool in the pit of his stomach. His eyebrow went up in appreciation and in an unspoken question.

“A toast,” Kirk responded. “We’re both alive. And it looks like we’re both going to stay that way for awhile.”

*****

Later, in bed, Kirk struggled with the sleep that was usually quick to come. But he wasn’t used to sleeping alone. Marlena was not much more than a bed-warmer by now, but he found that, with her gone, the loneliness that had been his constant companion since his youth was harder to ignore. And thoughts that would have been better not to have wouldn’t leave him alone.

Spock. He hoped he wouldn’t regret his decision to spare the Vulcan. But he liked Spock. He really did. More, he trusted him, a commodity in rare supply in the life he had carved out for himself. He couldn’t afford to trust. But from the first he had trusted Spock. Kirk vividly remembered their first meeting. Pike wasn’t cold in his grave when Kirk had bullied his way onto the _Enterprise,_ surprising, he was sure, the young lieutenant whose blade had been found firmly planted in the ship’s late captain. Surprising even more the cool and collected science officer who had met him and his bodyguard in the transporter room.

They had silently appraised each other for long moments. Kirk had seen a man who radiated intelligence and dignity. A man who knew what he wanted and had no qualms about going after it. What Spock saw only he knew. Kirk had heard it said that the Vulcan didn’t want the captaincy. Fine. But did he want Kirk as his captain?

Kirk had taken the chance of coming on board with only Farrell to back him up. The two men could have been easily overpowered, but Spock had seemed to come to a decision as he sized Kirk up. One elegant eyebrow had lifted at Kirk’s grin and with a nod their futures had been set. Spock had thrown in with him, and the ship had become his.

A year and a half later, they were still dancing around each other. Kirk sat up and shook his head in disgust. He rested his arms on his updrawn knees and stared into the dark. Where did he and Spock go from here? Surely two grown men could come to some kind of understanding. Was it so wrong of him to want the Vulcan as a friend? Life was hard enough without the isolation his command had added. He didn’t want to spend the rest of the mission this way. He needed someone he could rely on, someone he could let his guard down with. None of the women who had come and gone from his bed had ever been able to win that from him.

He knew Spock would never make the first move. Kirk didn’t know much about his first officer’s past. The bits and pieces he had garnered over time had been hard won. What he did know was that Spock wanted desperately to be a man unto himself. Kirk had known other Vulcans. None had been so rigidly formal as his second in command, who insisted that he felt none of the emotions that plagued his mother’s people. Very well. It had taken a trip into another universe to make Kirk see just how much he needed Spock’s friendship. Now it was up to him to make Spock see how much he needed Kirk’s.

He slid back down to rest on his side and pulled one pillow close. Kirk felt better now. He always did after making a decision. He’d start his campaign tomorrow. Poor Spock wouldn’t know what hit him.

*****

Kirk unobtrusively watched the door to the mess hall as he ate his meal. He had gone out of his way to learn Spock’s schedule, and knew the Vulcan regularly took his lunch at this time. At that moment, just like clockwork, his first officer entered the room. Without a word, Spock’s man turned to collect his superior’s food.

Mr. Spock, over here.” Kirk called. He noticed the slight hesitation before Spock turned from his original destination.

“Is there something I can do for you, Captain?” Spock cast a glance at Farrell, who was standing against the wall.

Kirk motioned the man off with a short wave of his hand. The large human moved far enough away that their conversation would go unheard, but not far enough that he wouldn’t be able to respond in case of an attack. “Go ahead, sit down.”

Spock took the seat across from Kirk.

To anyone else, the Vulcan’s posture would have screamed a casual forbearance. But Kirk had been watching Spock very carefully. He had learned much in the last weeks. Spock was curious. And Kirk’s recent behavior was driving him crazy. Kirk waited until Spock’s man brought his first officer’s lunch and, with a look from Spock, had moved off.

“What is that?” Kirk peered at the sick-green concoction in Spock’s bowl.

“Plomeek soup. It is a Vulcan dish.”

Kirk watched, fascinated, as Spock brought a spoonful of the soup to his mouth.

Spock’s hand stopped, the spoon inches from his face. “Captain?”

“Uh, sorry. It’s just that it looks awful.” He picked up his own sandwich and took a bite. He noted the look of amusement on Spock’s face and shrugged. It was a start.

They ate in silence at first. Kirk had heard it was a Vulcan tradition. It wasn’t bad, not really. He felt comfortable, and glancing up, he realized Spock did, too. After a while, he managed to throw out a question and their conversation started from there. Nothing too personal, just the normal topics one might bring up with a fellow officer. Kirk didn’t even see McCoy until it was too late.

“Well, what do we have here?” The doctor strolled up to their table.

“What is it, McCoy?” Kirk snapped. He could feel Spock’s shields go up from across the table.

The doctor’s gaze slid from one man to the other. “Nothing. I was just surprised to see you two at the same table. Never saw Spock deign to eat with one of us lowly humans, even if that human _is_ the captain.”

Kirk saw Spock begin to rise and without thinking, reached out and grabbed the Vulcan’s arm. “No, stay where you are.”

The entire room went still as both men’s guards move toward the table.

“Are you threatening me, Captain?” Spock’s voice was low, but his meaning was perfectly clear.

Kirk slowly let go and pulled his arm back. “No. Just...don’t go.” He gave a small shake of his head to Farrell who then returned to his former position.

Spock studied him intently for long moments before motioning his own man off.

Taking a deep breath, Kirk turned to McCoy. “Unless you have something of importance to say, Doctor, I’m right in the middle of a conference with Mr. Spock.”

McCoy had gone white, having almost ended up right in the middle of a confrontation between the two most powerful forces on the ship. Apparently, it was enough excitement for the day. “No, nothing that can’t wait; I’ll see you later, Captain.”

“The doctor is showing some of his little-used intelligence,” Spock intoned as both men watched McCoy grab a cup and coffee and head out the door.

“You mean he’s good at saving his own skin.” Kirk picked up his coffee and finished it off. “I should go. He won’t get off my back until he tests me again to make sure all the Venus drug Harry Mudd slipped me is out of my system.”

“Mr. Mudd is most fortunate the drug’s effects are relatively harmless. I would have been most displeased if your incapacitation had forced me to take permanent command of the ship.”

Kirk’s head jerked up. It was the closest the Vulcan would ever come to saying that he had been worried. But Kirk knew that was exactly what Spock _was_ saying. It was written all over his face. “Why, Mr. Spock. I think that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

“I do not wish command—”

“Yes, yes, I know.” Kirk stood. “I’ll see you on the bridge.” He started to walk away, but then stopped and returned to the table. “Are you free tonight?”

“Free?” He’d taken Spock off guard again and the Vulcan looked totally confused.

“Free, you know, nothing to do.”

“I endeavor to always have something to do, Captain.” He hesitated. “But I have nothing pressing.”

“Good. Then I’ll expect you at nineteen hundred hours. I’ll have the chess board all set.” Kirk didn’t wait for an answer, but started for the door. As he left, he happened to glance back at his first officer. Spock looked like he had been phaser-stunned. With a smile, Kirk headed for sickbay.

*****

The lab was deserted as Spock scanned the day’s inputs from his office terminal. He preferred working here alone. The words that scrolled past on the computer screen were being taken in and stored for future consideration. But at the moment, Spock had more pressing things to think about. That he still lived was never far from his mind. The reason his captain had seen fit to spare him, even more so.

It was six weeks since the transference with that other universe. Six weeks since Kirk had, for whatever reason, decided their relationship would now take a new course. With Lieutenant Moreau gone, Kirk appeared to have found himself with plenty of time on his hands. So slowly and steadily, his captain had drawn him in, using his not inconsiderable charm to bind Spock to him. There had been shared meals and chess matches that had lasted long into ship’s night. They had even taken to having deep conversations on the OD, the stars their only audience. Spock had found all this disturbing...and shockingly enticing.

Spock’s life on Vulcan had always been difficult. Other than his parents and she who was his chosen, there were none on that harsh planet he had ever felt a kinship with. It had made it easy to leave the security of his home and take on the challenges of serving the Empire. Among the humans he was alien; but it was an alienation of his own choosing. Having cut all ties to Vulcan, he had never thought to replace them with new ones.

The screen went blank and he removed the disc from the terminal to replace it with the last of the lot. The information continued to spill out even as he continued his musings.

Sometimes he wondered what his life would have been if he had remained, following in his father’s footsteps as diplomat and ambassador. Whether Vulcan desired it or not, the position would have been his. Tradition would have demanded it. But he truly could not see that for himself. His unwillingness to take that path had brought a painful parting that had severely tested his father’s control and frayed the tenuous link that bound Spock to her who would be his wife. T’Pring, no matter her regard for him, had not submitted to a full bond during his pon farr and would not until he returned home to stay. She was a deserving female; intelligent and loyal. But she had no wish to tie herself to a mate she saw but rarely. He could not give her offspring, and he often feared that she would ultimately find another.

This had been his existence before the transference. Why could it not have continued thus? He may not have been “happy,” as the humans named it. But he had been content. He had gained his captain’s trust. It had been all he desired. Now he had tasted the forbidden fruit of emotion and had no idea what to do with its consequences. Was this relationship that had blossomed between him and his captain what humans called friendship?

He found that he felt concern whenever the volatile human placed himself in danger. The dull ache of anxiety would take up residence in his chest every time Kirk was injured. Very well. He...cared for his captain. Where did such feelings belong in the universe they inhabited?

Perhaps if he had not been so deep in thought, he would have heard the slight click as the door to the lab was locked; might have noticed the dimming of the lights. As it was, only when the head of security stood before him, phaser in hand, did Spock understand his danger.

“What is it you wish, Mr. Sulu?” he asked harshly.

The other man smirked, delighted in catching Spock unaware. “I think you know, Commander.”

“My death will bring you no closer to the captaincy. Captain Kirk will merely find himself another first officer.”

“Perhaps. But he’ll be more vulnerable with you gone. He’s gotten sloppy recently.”

Spock knew this to be true. It was as if, once Kirk had allowed his guard down to allow Spock in, he was unable to completely raise it again. He wasn’t the man he had been before the transference. Sulu’s continued existence proved that. “He spared your life, yet you still seek his.”

“There’s no room in the Empire for a captain who’s gone soft. If it isn’t me, it will be someone else. I’ll make it painless. He deserves that much.” Sulu tightened his grip on his weapon. “But enough about the captain. It’s your turn first.”

Spock slowly got to his feet. “My death will be avenged. And I find it unlikely that you could stave off all my operatives.”

“Who’s to know? You’ll just disappear. Poof.” Sulu splayed out the fingers of his free hand. “tomorrow morning you just won’t show up for duty.”

“You do know that Vulcans are telepaths, do you not, Mr. Sulu?”

The man’s eyes narrowed. “You have to be in physical contact. And none of your men will ever get close enough to me to try.”

“There is one exception to that rule. A Vulcan’s chosen partner is in constant mental contact. _She_ will know.”

“You don’t have a partner.”

Spock leaned back against the desk and folded his arms across his chest, pretending a nonchalance he didn’t feel. “I’m surprised at you, Lieutenant. You should have been more thorough in your research. If you had checked my personnel file, you would have known that I do indeed have a spouse. And T’Pring’s first act will be to notify my operatives of my death.”

“You’re lying.” Sulu stepped slightly closer and Spock took the only opportunity he knew he’d have. He kicked out with one foot, catching the smaller man’s calf and pulling his leg out from under him.

With a surprised yelp Sulu went down, but managed to hold on to his weapon. He scampered up, in hot pursuit as Spock raced out of the inner office to the room beyond and safety.

He almost made it. Not realizing that the door was locked, Spock lost precious moments trying to force it open. He managed to dive behind one of the lab tables as the beaker sitting on its top dissolved within the phaser’s beam. But unable to stop his forward momentum, he crashed into the wall, striking his head on its hard surface.

“You can’t get away, Mr. Spock.” The head of security slowly worked his way over to the light controls and brought the room into stark relief as the overheads blazed to their highest settings.

Spock rolled into a sitting position and cradled his bleeding head. Sulu’s boots came into his line of vision and he looked up into the determined face of his enemy.

The helmsman gave him a mocking smile, raised his phaser...and disappeared in a flash of white.

*****

“Come.” Kirk stood at his desk as he released the lock on his door. He knew it was Spock. The Vulcan who walked in, blood running freely from the gash on his forehead, looked shaken and on the verge of losing control. Spock walked slowly toward him and Kirk could see the question in the dark eyes before the words were even said.

“You saved my life. Why?”

“Do you really need to ask that?” Kirk sat down and motioned for Spock to do the same. After a moment’s hesitation, the Vulcan took the seat opposite his captain.

“I wish...”

Spock seemed to grope for words, the first time Kirk had ever seen him do that. “What? What do you wish?”

Pressing his lips together, Spock shuddered slightly and then straightened into the chair. “I wish to know what this is between us.”

Kirk leaned back to study his first officer. When he had turned on the Tantalus field and seen Sulu and Spock talking in Spock’s office, the stab of pain had caught him unaware. And for a moment he had raged at the betrayal he thought he saw there. But once the true situation revealed itself, he had not hesitated to push the button and snuff out the life of his traitorous security officer. And all for this man. This man who could not bring himself to name what it was they were to each other.

“Friends. We’re friends,” Kirk finally answered in a voice laced with sarcasm.

Spock almost cringed, but then brought imploring eyes up to meet Kirk’s gaze. “I do not ask this lightly. Nor do I mean to belittle what has grown between us. But there is much that is different between our worlds, Captain. For a Vulcan, there is no such thing as a casual acquaintance, a ‘friend’ that one picks up and puts down at ones leisure. The role of telepathy in our lives makes that impossible.”

“I don’t understand.”

“You say we are friends. But for a Vulcan that entails a closeness that is of the mind, a connection that binds like to like.”

Kirk leaned forward, intrigued. “Are you saying there’s something mental between us?”

The Vulcan tilted his head in thought for a moment before answering with a surprised lift of his brow. “I believe so. We have always shared a rapport. But since your return from that other universe, and our escalating dependence outside of duty hours, our minds seemed to have reached out to each other. Without knowing it, we have apparently made that connection.”

“Like you and T’Pring?” He almost bit his tongue trying to call the question back. But curiosity and an unexpected hurt had compelled Kirk to ask.

Spock almost smiled. “No, Captain. Not like me and T’Pring.”

“Who is she?”

“The closest analogy would be my fiancee.”

“Fiancee? Not wife? You told Sulu—”

“No, not wife.”

Kirk saw the momentary flash of pain in the Vulcan’s eyes and wondered at it. Maybe someday Spock would tell him about her, but right now he had seen the unmistakable signs of a topic off limits. “Okay, not like yours and T’Pring’s. What then?”

“On Vulcan, there is a word left over from a time before logic ruled our lives; a barbaric era ruled by a warrior caste who spent their lives waging wars and who gave little thought to the mundane duties of home and hearth. Those closest to these men were their fellow warriors, the brothers they lived, and died, with. They were t’hy’la.”

“T’hy’la?” Kirk’s tongue tripped over the exotic word.

“Friend, brother, sometimes lover.”

“Oh, wait a minute, Spock—”

“ _Sometimes,_ Captain. Not always. It was left to the discretion of the individuals. In any event, the word has survived. Though Vulcans now control their emotions, it would be illogical to deny what is. Two men, depending on each other for their very existence, create something larger than both. The link is a tangible manifestation of this most cherished bond. A mental connection that enhances the relationship between these two ‘friends’. Do you understand, Captain?”

“I think so.” He did understand. From the first there had been that indefinable rapport between them, as if each brought to the relationship something missing in the other. If this was the outcome, then he had done himself a great service by making sure the Vulcan had stayed at his side. He had never had a friend, not like this, anyway. He was so very glad that he had fought to win this one. “Do you think that’s what they are to each other?” he asked suddenly.

“Sir?” Spock shifted in his chair.

“Our counterparts. I remember thinking that that Spock was ready to do just about anything to get his captain back. It wasn’t anything he said, exactly,” Kirk tried to recapture the image of that beardless Spock, “but there was something...”

“I would say, yes, then. They were most certainly t’hy’la.”

Kirk frowned slightly at the rushed words, but didn’t pursue them. But the image they created held his thoughts, and he wondered what it must be like for them. His eyes clouded as he realized how it would have to be for him and Spock. “Spock, you realize we’ll never be able to let anyone know, don’t you?” He looked into eyes filled with the same regret.

“Yes, Captain. I am well aware of the danger that would place us both in.”

Kirk nodded his head. “Yeah.” He straightened and held his friend’s gaze. “’Jim.’ I want you to call me ‘Jim’ when we’re alone.”

Spock stared at him for a long moment and then dipped his head in acknowledgment. “Jim.”

*****

Kirk watched his people from his elevated position. Whoever had thought to set the captain’s chair higher than the rest had known what he was doing. It gave him a psychological edge over his bridge crew.

The weeks since Halka had not changed that. Though his relationship with Spock had changed dramatically, he still maintained the facade of a ruthless commanding officer. Or, at least he tried.

Kirk stared at the planet that filled the front viewscreen. Planet 892-IV had never been properly surveyed. It was no more than a catalogue number, waiting to be accepted or rejected as worthy of the Empire’s “protection.” But the wreckage of the _S. S. Beagle_ had been found nearby, and the _Enterprise_ was here to find out what had happened to its crew, and if this insignificant world was a threat of any kind.

Normally, they would have gone in with weapons bristling. But after hearing of this planet’s almost identical physical properties to Terra, Kirk had decided on a more roundabout approach. He was “fascinated,” to borrow a phrase. How much like his homeworld would this place be?

Kirk glanced over his shoulder at his first officer. Spock was quietly speaking to his replacement and didn’t notice his captain’s perusal. Strange how much he enjoyed watching the Vulcan. It was too bad it wasn’t just the two of them beaming down. The security men weren’t really needed anymore. In another reality, he and his friend would have gone alone.

He shook his head and pushed the thought to the back of his mind as he swiveled his chair around to face his science officer. “Ready, Mr. Spock?”

The Vulcan turned and approached Kirk. “I still do not think it advisable for both of us to be gone from the ship at the same time. We have never done so before.”

“It will be okay. I trust Mr. Scott.”

Spock’s brow lifted. “That seems to be a strange failing you have picked up recently, Captain.”

Kirk eyed the Vulcan teasingly. “He says he doesn’t want command. Are you telling me I shouldn’t believe him?”

“I am merely wondering if you should. We will be gone for several days.”

“Farrell will keep on eye on things.” His top security man wasn’t too happy about being left behind. But since he really didn’t need him as long as Spock was around, it seemed best to keep him here where he could act as Kirk’s eyes and ears. “Besides, with the ship needed to ferry a bunch of diplomats, I’d rather spend my time here. Let Mr. Scott put up with them.”

“I still believe it would be better if one of us were to stay. The ship will be gone for ten days. And those same diplomats could be of great benefit to us. If you insist on going, Mr. Farrell would be more than happy to accompany you—”

“The diplomats? Is that the reason you don’t want to go, Mr. Spock?” There was suddenly steel in Kirk’s voice.

Spock straightened and his voice pitched low. “You know it is not, and you know you have my loyalty. My concern is that you may not have another’s.”

Kirk gazed intently at his first officer before responding. “I know what I’m doing, Spock. You’re going to have to trust me on this one. Besides, I’m probably going to need your expertise down there.”

Spock stared back for a moment and then smiled almost imperceptibly. “As you wish. In any event, it should prove to be an interesting experience. I have heard much of your unique style in regards to landing party procedure.”

Kirk grinned as he rose from his chair. As they made their way to the turbolift it occurred to him that interesting was a word and a half for it.

*****

Twenty minutes later they materialized outside the city limits. Though now dressed in approximated native attire, they preferred to remain unnoticed. The surrounding area was semi-arid and the light shrub would make travel easy while screening them from anyone who might happen to be around. They planned on entering the metropolis around sundown and find shelter in whatever passed as an inn in this culture. They set off at an easy pace, Kirk and Spock in the lead, their two men a respectful ten paces behind.

“Why did you pick this city in particular, Captain?” Spock gazed off into the distance as towering spires slowly came into view.

“It’s approximately in the same location as Urbs Tumulorum.”

“Your birthplace,” Spock responded.

Kirk nodded. “It might help if we know the surrounding terrain. So far, it looks exactly the same. On Terra, if we traveled about two hundred and fifty kilometers in that direction,” he pointed off to the east, “we’d run into the Kirk compound.”

“Perhaps,” Spock took his tricorder out, and began sweeping the area, “but the level of pollution is much higher than on your planet. There may not be as many similarities as we first imagined.”

“Well, I don’t imagine running into myself out here, Mr. Spock,” Kirk teased.

Spock lifted an eyebrow but did not reply. No sense giving their respective guards any reason to wonder at their new affability. Instead, he returned to his study of the tricorder’s readout. This world might look like Terra, but it was on a much lower level of development. And the high readings of carbon monoxide and fluorocarbons gave a picture of a planet shackled to the use of fossil fuels. Kirk’s planet had thankfully only toyed with their use. The gods of Terra would never have stood for such degradation of their world.

It took them two hours before the four men found themselves walking through what was apparently some kind of suburb. Row after row of similarly built houses, doors shut and windows drawn closed, extended for several hundred meters.

“Every house is exactly the same.” Kirk’s gaze swung from one side of the street to the other.

“Not exactly, Captain. There are minute differences.”

“If you say so. How far do we still need to go?”

Spock pulled his cloak closer while covering his head with its hood as he scanned the road before him. Kirk had insisted on each bringing something for warmth, and for that Spock was grateful. The temperature had dropped fifteen point two degrees and he felt the cold. “There appears to be an establishment perhaps half a kilometer from here.”

“All right.” Kirk squared his shoulders and gathered his men with a nod. “Here’s hoping Research did their job and things go off without a hitch.”

The credit voucher created on the ship worked perfectly. Kirk’s request for quarters as far from the main traffic area as possible was met with gracious compliance and they were led to the building furthest away from the road. The second story suite was expansive, though not ostentatious. Two large bedrooms were separated by a living area, with a small kitchen off to one side and a balcony that swept the length of the quarters. Kirk had their supplies beamed down and the four men began setting up for their stay, Spock and his guard taking one room, Kirk and his taking the other.

*****

Spock heard the small sound behind him, and turned to see his captain joining him on the terrace.

“Can’t sleep.” Kirk stood beside him and propped his arms on the railing as he looked out on the city.

“It is not late on the ship. You have not had time to adjust to the difference.”

“It’s not just that. There’s something about this place, a feeling I have.”

Spock studied his captain. “Is this one of your ‘hunches’?”

“Maybe. It just doesn’t add up. These people don’t have the technology to bring down a spacecraft, yet the _Beagle_ showed definite signs of damage.”

“You believe they may have had help.”

Kirk shrugged. “I don’t know. They’re well within the Orions' sphere of influence.”

“The Orions have never made a habit of sharing their wealth, or the practices they use to acquire it,” Spock reminded him.

“Suppose these people don’t know what’s going on. The population is large enough, you said six billion, right? The Orions taking a few hundred thousand wouldn’t even make a dent. Especially where there isn’t a stable government in the area...which seems to be fairly common.”

“That is true. Lieutenant Uhura reported that there are several major civil wars, a continent wide famine, several religious-based insurgencies and a recent colonial expansion by this world’s major power. Add to this a major degradation of their environment coupled with a mass extinction of species that would rival the outcome of a planet wide catastrophe.”

Kirk looked at him, incredulous. “Their governments allow this?”

“Their governments encourage it.”

“Why?”

“That, I do not know. This planet would make an interesting study. In many ways an exact duplicate of Terra. Yet, in others...”

I suppose we’ll find out soon enough. I was thinking we could split up in the morning. You and Stonn can head for the nearest library...they do have them, don’t they?” At Spock’s nod, he continued. “Maybe you can find something that’s not in their computer databases that might be of some help.”

“And you and Lieutenant Leslie?”

Kirk grinned. “Fastest way to loosen lips is liquor. We’ll find a drinking establishment close to the government and financial district. With any luck, by this time tomorrow we’ll have our answers and we can kick back until the _Enterprise_ returns.”

 

*****

“Damn, my head is killing me.” Kirk sat with his head in his hands at the table in the small kitchen.

Spock threw him a disapproving look. “It is unfortunate that you did not think to bring detox pills with the rest of our supplies. And since the ship has already left for its rendezvous—”

“It’s not a hangover, Spock. I _know_ what a hangover feels like.” Kirk pressed his thumbs against the space between his eyebrows. “It feels like my head is about to pop.”

Spock walked over from the stove where he had preparing tea. He pushed Kirk’s hands away from his head and began applying pressure to the human’s brow. “Does this lessen the pain?”

“A little.” Kirk leaned back, encouraging the touch.

They were alone, yet Spock still felt ill at ease being so familiar with his captain. Kirk had sent Stonn and Leslie for more food supplies. Almost two days had passed and they had turned up nothing. But Spock nervously remembered the look that had passed over Stonn’s face when Kirk had ordered him to go with Leslie and the suspicion that had flared in his guard’s eyes when Spock had agreed.

As he had feared, he and Kirk were finding it difficult to keep their regard for each other secret. What would their guards think if they were to return and find their superior officers thus? And what would be the price he and Kirk would have to pay once back on the ship and word spread of their close relationship?

“Gods, that feels good. The pain is almost gone.” Kirk had slumped down in his chair. “What I don’t understand is why it’s happening. I’ve never had headaches like this before.”

“It is the atmosphere that shrouds this city. I do not understand how these people survive it.” Spock kept up the pressure while he massaged his captain’s temples and forehead.

“And we’re near the edge. I think yesterday’s little jaunt to the center is what did it.” Kirk sat up, breaking the contact between them. “Thanks, Spock. It’s much better now.” He pulled his chair around as Spock took a seat across the table. “So as much as I hate the idea, I think we’re going to have to move closer in.”

“You refer to the time wasted getting to and from our designations.”

“Right. It’s taking us too long to get to the areas where we stand a chance of learning anything. I checked out a few places yesterday, and I think I’ve found the perfect place.”

“Near the business and government district?”

“Yeah. I used our card to get some of their currency,” Kirk fished out his wallet and opened it. Inside were several large denomination bills. “We’ll pack up our stuff tonight and call for a cab in the morning.”

“A ‘cab’?” Spock inquired.

Kirk laughed. “It’s like a shuttlecraft on wheels.”

“I see,” Spock resisted teasing Kirk back, but instead returned to the matter at hand. “What is it about the place that you find of particular use?”

“It’s bigger, for one thing. We each can have our own room. Leslie’s okay, but he snores and it’s not like I need the protection.” Kirk gave Spock a small smile.

Spock felt a tightening in his chest. More than anything, he wished to continue as they had during their time alone. But there were other considerations. He swallowed before answering. “Jim, he may not understand why you would do such a thing. You saw their reaction to your order.”

“They’ll do as they’re told.” Kirk’s voice had gone cold. “I’m sick of hiding.”

“But you understand why we must.”

Kirk glared at him but then nodded, his disgust at the situation evident. “Don’t worry, Spock. I won’t give us away.” He quieted for a moment. “Is this why you didn’t want to come along?”

“In part. Primarily, I do not hold Mr. Scott in the same regard you obviously do. I fear what we may find when we return to the ship. But I did have reservations as to our ability to remain outwardly indifferent to each other, reservations that have not proved groundless.”

“You worry too much,” Kirk chastised. “There’s nothing wrong with two men deciding to be friends.”

To Spock, it sounded as if Kirk was trying to convince himself. Especially since his captain abruptly changed the subject and began sketching out their plans for the next day.

They were still planning their move when Stonn and Leslie returned with two large boxes of groceries. And though nothing was said, Spock could feel Stonn carefully watching him and Kirk as they filled in their guards as to their coming change in location. Just as he could still feel the emanations that had poured from the human onto his fingertips lighting up his soul.

*****

“You got everything?” Kirk stood at the back of cab with Leslie and Stonn as they loaded the trunk with their supplies. Both had glared at the driver when he’d had the audacity to attempt to take one of the packages.

“Everything but this.” Stonn held up the one small valise that had not fit. A “backpack” is what the salesperson had called it.

“Give it to me. I’ll ride in front.” Kirk grabbed the pack from the Vulcan and moved off to get inside the cab. Two phasers were hidden at the bottom of the bag, wrapped within the sheets they had absconded with. They’d crammed various articles on top just in case.

While this was going on, Spock positioned himself off to the side to afford himself a better vantage to spot trouble. He felt vulnerable whenever he felt Kirk could be vulnerable. Even the somewhat overweight driver was a potential threat to the safety of his captain.

He mentally sighed and quickly scanned the skies. They had been on this planet for only two days, and already Spock disliked it intensely. The miasma of dirt and soot that hovered over the city was enough to make them all physically ill. Yet here they were, about to move more deeply into it.

“You getting in or what?” Kirk called out from the front seat of the cab.

Spock took one more look around and then slid into the seat behind Kirk. The fit was tight. Stonn was only slightly heavier than Spock, but Leslie was a well-filled out human. The only compensation was that Stonn had seen fit to place himself between his liege lord and Kirk’s guard. Spock positioned the tricorder he had refused to give up against his side where it fit snugly beneath his coat. He grabbed the handle to pull the door shut just as the vehicle started forward.

The homes and scattered businesses soon gave way to more tightly packed development. Eventually, they entered the city proper, and the maze of tall buildings they had seen from a distance. In spite of himself, Spock couldn’t help but be fascinated by this new culture. The city was a drab monotony of box-shaped buildings that continued on block after block.

The vehicle slowed to a crawl as they neared their destination. Spock almost covered his ears when the driver pushed on the center of the steering wheel and the most unattractive sound was emitted. Even the cap he wore wasn’t enough to smother the clamor of noises made by the traffic that swirled around them.

“Damn traffic,” the driver muttered as he wove his way through the thickening congestion, “Getting worse every year.”

“That one looks familiar.” Leslie pointed out the window at one of the obviously older buildings, its design so out of place among the glass and steel edifices that surrounded it.

“That’s their courthouse. Ours is the building up ahead, on the left.” Kirk was looking out and up through the front windshield when Spock heard the first muffled roar and then the shattering of glass.

“Get down!” Kirk yelled as he disappeared behind the seat.

Spock had little time to obey. He felt a rush of hot air, and then he was covered by Stonn, who threw himself over Spock just as the cab was hit by the full force of the explosion.

*****

”Spock? Can you hear me? Spock?”

It was dark and smelled of burnt flesh. The small enclosure pressed against him, as did the slack body of his guard. He heard the protest of straining metal, and then Spock opened his eyes as hands pulled at him, tugging him out of the cab and onto the pavement.

“Are you all right?” Kirk knelt unsteadily as he propped Spock in a sitting position.

Spock held his head in his hand as he tried to make the world stop spinning. He could hear the wail of sirens at a distance. Yet, all around them it was deathly still, as if the survivors were afraid of calling notice to themselves. He finally looked up and turned to peer at his captain. The human’s face was blackened with soot and there was a large cut over one brow. Blood slowly trickled down Kirk’s face, but he was obviously more worried about Spock.

“I believe so.” Spock brought his hand up to tenderly touch his scalp. When he pulled it away, his fingers were smeared with blood. “I seem to have suffered a slight head trauma.”

Kirk grimaced as he studied the Vulcan’s head. “Not so slight. You’ve got a gash in your head at least five centimeters long. A few centimeters more, and it would have taken out your translator.” Without the small device implanted beneath his scalp, Spock would have become almost useless to him, unable to understand or communicate with the people of this planet. “Here,” Kirk reached over and grabbed Spock cap from the floor of the cab. “You’d better put this back on. And if you haven’t noticed yet, you’re going to have trouble with your left leg.” He nodded toward Spock’s limb.

Spock followed Kirk’s gaze. He _hadn’t_ noticed. Apparently the shock of the explosion had shoved the back seat forward, sending his leg under the seat in front of him. His pant leg was torn and blood oozed out of the wound that ran from just below his knee to halfway down his shinbone. Almost on cue, he felt the first throbs of pain radiate up his leg.

“Do you think you can stand?” Kirk’s gaze darted around them and tension radiated from the human.

“I shall attempt it.” Spock allowed his captain to help him up, Kirk’s arm wrapping snugly around his waist while Spock slung his over the human’s shoulders. Once standing, he tried putting weight on the leg. It folded under him, bringing them both down again. “I do not believe I can travel, Captain.”

“You’re going to have to.” Kirk had the knapsack he had been holding slung over his shoulder. Balancing its weight with that of Spock’s, he got them to their feet once again. “We’ve got to get out of here.”

“I do not understand. Surely, this was not done in response to our presence. Nor could we be held accountable for it.”

“No, we can’t. But don’t you think they might start asking questions after they see that?” Kirk motioned into the back seat of the cab.

Spock had not even thought about their traveling companions. His head injury was apparently having a more detrimental effect on him than he had assumed. He peered into the smoky interior...and blanched.

Stonn appeared to be asleep, as if he had slumped over to rest his head on the cushioned seat. Until you realized that the back half of his cranium had been torn away and that the dark stain on the upholstery was his blood slowly pooling beneath him. To his left was the shattered remains of Kirk’s human guard. “You may be correct,” Spock murmured.

“Damn right, I’m correct. Come on. Lean on me.” Kirk pivoted them around and hauled Spock forward, away from the wreckage.

“Our supplies—”

“Forget about them.”

They headed back the way they had come, away from the city’s center. Spock tried to hold himself erect, placing as little weight as he could on the injured leg. The shock that had initially masked his pain had also sapped the strength from the limb. But with returning mobility came an agony he was finding hard to control. A moan slipped past his clenched jaw.

“I’m sorry, Spock,” Kirk panted. The human was already breathing hard. The physical exertion required to hold Spock’s weight, added to his own injuries, was making travel difficult. “But we can’t stop. The authorities are going to be swarming all over here any minute now.”

Yet they managed to slip away unnoticed. The explosion had left a thick cloud that effectively shielded them as they made their way down the center of the street. All traffic had stopped, and those they passed on foot rarely looked their way. Most had injuries. And even those that didn’t moved in a trancelike stupor. Two blocks away, they managed to catch another cab as normalcy returned to their surroundings.

As Kirk helped him into the vehicle, Spock looked back at the destruction. He couldn’t make out most of it, but where the oddly elegant courthouse of another age had stood, was now only rubble.

*****

“Where are we going?” Spock leaned against the back of the seat and closed his eyes. Both his head and his leg throbbed intently, and he was having trouble controlling the pain.

“Back to the hotel,” Kirk quietly answered.

Spock opened his eyes. “Is that wise? The taxi company will have a record showing that is where we initially came from.”

“We’re not reregistering. It was the only place I knew the name of to give the driver. Besides, it’s close to the edge of town.”

“How will that help our situation? We are both in need of medical attention—”

“I know, I know.” Kirk moved forward and turned to face Spock. “Listen. There’s a lot of vehicles for sale across the street from the hotel. Do you think you could figure out how to make one of these things go without a set of keys?”

Spock looked over his captain’s shoulder at the controls of the taxi. “I believe so. If I am not mistaken, the ignition switch can be circumvented by rewiring the circuitry beneath the steering column.”

Kirk grinned. “And just how do you know that?”

“I have used my time quite effectively to study their culture, Captain. These contrivances hold a singularly important role.” Spock frowned. “What, exactly, are you planning?”

“We can’t stay here, Spock. I figure we can take one of the vehicles and head out of town.”

“To where?”

“Remember I told you the Kirk compound is near here on Terra?”

“This is not Terra.”

“I know that. But I spent some of my time learning a few things, too. There’s a Kirk _farm_ in the same general location.”

“And you believe it is owned by your family’s counterpart here?”

“It would make sense. We’ve held the land since it was granted to us by the Emperor over fifteen hundred years ago.”

“But there is no Empire on this world. There has not been for over a thousand Terran years.”

“Then how in Hades did the Kirk’s of this world end up with it?” Kirk hissed, exasperated.

“I do not know. But since I have no alternative plan, it would seem to be as good a place as any to wait for the _Enterprise’s_ return.”

“Okay, it’s settled then. All we have to do is find somewhere to hide until nightfall.” Kirk settled into the seat and turned away to watch the passing landscape.

Spock closed his eyes again. He could feel the blood soaking into his cap. The bleeding had slowed, but his injuries needed to be looked to. Everyone in the Imperial fleet was given a modicum of medical training; enough, at least, to make sure you could aid a fellow soldier on the battlefield. He certainly hoped Kirk’s training had been somewhat more extensive than most.

He thought about his captain. It was unfortunate they had lost their guards, but Spock had realized that Kirk’s loss would have been painful, indeed. The human was exasperating, stubborn, often coldly ambitious...and by far the most fascinating person Spock had ever known. And the friendship that Kirk had bestowed upon him was his most treasured possession.

Spock’s eyes opened to thin slits, and his gaze slid over to the human at his side. Kirk was still looking out the window, a slight frown of concentration marring his face. Spock allowed himself to relax. Kirk would find a way to get them home. A highly illogical thought on his part, but one Spock could neither change, nor summon the desire to.

*****

Kirk handed the two bills over to the driver and stepped back as the taxi pulled away. He turned and walked over to the side of the parking lot where Spock sat on one of the cement blocks that lined the area.

“You don’t look so good.” Kirk grabbed the knapsack and helped haul Spock to his feet.

“I have felt better.” The Vulcan’s complexion was ashen.

Kirk wrapped his arm around his friend’s waist and started walking him toward the back of the hotel. “There’s an area in the back that’s overgrown with trees and shrubs. I want you to sit back there and rest until I get back.”

“Where are you going?”

“We’re going to need supplies, and I’ve got to scout out a place for us to stay. I won’t be gone long.”

The area he led Spock to was dirty, and the bushes tore at their clothes. But they would effectively screen the Vulcan from sight. Kirk helped his friend maneuver through the underbrush until they found a bush large enough for Spock to comfortably fit under. Using the knapsack as a pillow, Spock reluctantly laid down, the branches creating a small cave that completely hid him from view.

“I’ll be back as soon as I can.” Kirk hesitated a moment, fighting his reluctance to leave Spock alone. The Vulcan looked so vulnerable. His usually neatly styled beard had flecks of dried blood in it, and the cap he wore made him look years younger. Unconsciously, Kirk reached out and squeezed Spock’s arm.

Spock laid his hand over Kirk’s. “I will be all right, Jim. Go now.”

Kirk nodded, and steeling himself, swiftly rose and walked away.

*****

Kirk watched from around the corner of the building as the cleaning people moved from room to room. He had stopped on his way and purchased a can of “soda” from one of the machines conveniently placed at the end of the floor as one came out of the stairwell. And though its contents was like no soda Kirk had ever seen, it would fit his needs perfectly.

He could hear the women as they did their work; the good-natured bantering that seemed to be a staple of those who, working only with their hands, needed something to occupy their minds. He had even had to stifle a laugh at their reaction to the missing sheets from the rooms he and Spock had vacated only hours before. Several of the suites near them had been emptying out at the same time. He was counting on them still being vacant.

Kirk waited until all six women were inside and then ducked into the room nearest at hand. He popped open the can and quickly spilled the fizzing liquid over the carpeted floor of the front area. With seconds to spare, he managed to find a hiding space by squeezing behind the large dresser in one of the suite’s bedrooms.

“Will you look at this!”

Kirk could clearly hear what was being said in the outer room.

“What’s the matter?” A second woman responded.

“Someone made a mess in here. Looks like soda. At least, I _hope_ it’s soda.”

“I’ll go get the carpet cleaner.”

“You better let John know not to give this room out until tomorrow. It’s going to take a few hours to dry,” the first woman shouted at her partner who had obviously left the room.

There was string of obscenities as the remaining woman went about cleaning the rest of the suite. Not just the former occupants, but all those who left their messes for others to clean up, had their character brought into question. When her partner returned, all conversation was drowned out by the deafening noise of the rug cleaner. But just as Kirk had hoped, the time taken to clean the carpet rushed the women through the rest of their work. After less than half an hour he heard the soft click of the lock as the room was vacated. He waited a few minutes before leaving his hiding space, and then cautiously walked out into the front room. It was dark and thankfully empty, though it now smelled heavily of cleaning solution.

Kirk slid over to the window and peeked out. He couldn’t see the women, but could still hear voices coming from further down the walkway. He decided to wait a little longer before attempting to leave. Once out the door he would be totally exposed until he got to the end of the building.

He used the time to find something to keep the lock from engaging when he left. After fashioning a strike plate out of a piece of the tissue box from the bathroom, he returned to the door and slowly opened it. The women were nowhere around. Kirk swiftly stepped out and, fixing the strike plate against the lock, closed the door. With a nonchalance he didn’t feel, he casually strolled away.

*****

It was already starting to darken by the time he got back to Spock. The Vulcan was sitting up, though slightly hunched over.

“How are you feeling?” Kirk grabbed one of Spock’s arms and pulled him to his feet.

“I have been unable to completely control the pain.” Spock slipped two fingers under his cap. When he pulled them out, they were coated with blood. “And I most urgently need to enter a healing trance.”

“Will six hours be enough?” Kirk cautiously led Spock back to the building, his hold on the Vulcan’s arm never loosening.

“I believe so. You have found a place for us to stay?”

“I set it up so that we can use one of the rooms for the night. But the sooner we get out of here, the better.”

“How, exactly, did you manage that?” Spock tried to stop, but was kept moving forward by an impatient Kirk.

“Not now, Spock.” They reached the building and Kirk yanked open the door to the stairwell. “Come on. The room’s on the second floor.”

The stairwell was dim. With night fast approaching, the small lights placed above the doors were barely adequate. Half way up, they made the turn at the landing and this time Spock did stop. “Captain, look.”

“What?” Kirk asked impatiently. Sometimes, he really wished his first officer wasn’t quite so fascinated with things.

“The sign, Captain. Look at the sign.”

Kirk glanced up at the small lighted sign above the door at the top of the stairs. “‘He leaves’. So what?”

“Do you not see, Captain? The words are not being translated for us. That is exactly what the sign says.”

Kirk halted as they approached the door. The sign glowed directly above them now. “What does it mean?” He didn’t know whether to be confused or afraid.

“I do not know. But it would seem this world is tied to your more closely than we first suspected.”

“Well, whatever it means, we can think about it later.” He opened the door a few inches to look down the long walkway that fronted the rooms. No one saw as he and Spock quietly made their way to the room he had vacated only minutes before. Their luck held as the door easily opened and they hurried inside.

*****

Spock sat on one of the sofas in the living area of the suite. The pastry he consumed was loaded with saturated fat and carbohydrates. But Kirk had not been overly mindful in his selection of eating matter. And Spock needed the fuel to replace what the healing trance had burned off. He always awoke from one with a ravenous hunger.

The tricorder on the table before him softly beeped. Spock turned it off and unhooked the cord that snaked off to the side. The computer setup in each room was easily tapped into, and over the days every spare minute was used to siphon off information that might be of use to them. The tricorder had almost reached the limits of its memory capacity. He dare not add more. They might need it later.

He glanced over to the clock on the wall. Thirteen point five hours. Kirk lay sleeping in the bed Spock had vacated after his captain had roused him. It had been apparent that Kirk had lain beside him as Spock slept, coma-like, in the depths of the healing trance. Spock had swiftly suppressed the deep warmth he had felt at that discovery.

Though Kirk’s injuries had turned out to be minor, Spock had insisted on seeing to them before leaving the human to his rest. He had then gone in to shower. The hot water had felt good as it washed away the blood and dirt, though Spock had not been pleased at having to re-don the clothes he had previously worn. He had washed out as much of the blood as he could from his cap and shirt, but both still smelled of smoke. Kirk had insinuated that they would be able to purchase replacements, so Spock had resolutely dressed and gone into the front room to wait.

So now he waited and thought about what was happening between him and his captain. It disturbed him, this inexplicable draw his friend had over him. Kirk had become necessary to him. And that way lay danger.

Spock was not bonded, and he and Kirk shared a mental affinity the likes of which Spock had never felt before. Not even with T’Pring. If allowed to go unchecked, their link could tatter the gossamer threads that tied Spock to his intended and without her his life was forfeit.

Yet he had no wish to leave Kirk’s side. Perhaps it was not too late to stop his mind from taking that last, fatal step. Surely, if he were careful, they could have the friendship both craved. Would not the universe allow them this one comfort? In an existence that so often destroyed such closeness, was it so wrong of them to want it?

“What are you thinking?”

The human’s hands came to rest on his shoulders. “I was merely meditating.” Spock adroitly changed the subject. “You still have fifteen minutes in which to sleep.”

Kirk came around to sit on the sofa across from Spock. He ran his hands through his already mussed hair. “I’m not sleepy anymore. And leaving a few minutes early won’t hurt anything.” He glanced at the tricorder. “All done?”

“Yes. I have downloaded a great deal of information regarding this world. The tricorder should have it all processed within the next twelve hours.”

“That’s good.” Kirk stretched. “I think I’ll go take a quick shower so we can be on our way.”

“You have already decided on which vehicle we are to purloin?”

“You bet. It’s what they call an ‘SUV.’ I’m not sure what that means, but it’s big and capable of handling any unpaved roads we might need to travel. And there’s one parked in a fairly darkened area. Its got some sort of alarm on it, but I’m sure you can easily circumvent it,” Kirk said with a grin.

“Do not be so sure. Though their technology is similar, there are always variables.”

Kirk stood. “You’ll figure it out. You haven’t let me down yet, Spock.”

He turned and watched his friend walk away. Kirk’s shirt was already off by the time he entered the small bathroom and closed the door. Spock wondered how it would be to have to choose between Kirk and Vulcan. He hoped it was a choice he never had to make.

*****

Spock shivered and tried pulling the ends of his jacket closer. The inside of the vehicle was beginning to cool and Kirk had not returned. Parked behind the large building so as not to be visible from the street, Spock was unable to see the entrance to the store Kirk had entered over an hour before.

His captain had been right; it had been easy to circumvent the anti-theft devise on the vehicle. Once done, Spock had just as easily bypassed the ignition switch. It had taken less than five minutes for them to be on their way, his captain in dubious control of the conveyance. Kirk had taken little time to attempt mastery of them, however. It was essential that they put as much distance between the hotel and themselves as they could, so after a trial lap around the parking lot he had driven straight to the well lit building where Spock now found himself trying to keep warm while worry for his friend gnawed at him.

He heard a strange rattling coming from the front of the building. Seconds later, Kirk appeared pushing a metal cart piled high with assorted packages. Spock waited until his captain reached the vehicle and then opened the door and stepped down. “I was beginning to become concerned,” he remarked.

Kirk maneuvered the cart to the rear of the automobile and opened up the back doors. “I kept seeing things I thought we might need. There’s no telling if we’ll get another chance to pick up supplies.”

As they loaded the various packages, Spock noted with approval that Kirk had managed to procure just about everything they would possibly need. Food, blankets, toiletries, and enough water to last the week until the _Enterprise_ returned. For a moment, he wondered if it would all fit. But they managed to squeeze it all in, the last package thrown on top before Kirk closed the doors.

“Okay. Let’s get going.” Kirk pushed the cart out of the way and then hurriedly took his place behind the driver’s wheel.

The rush of warm air out of the heating vents felt good as Spock relaxed against the seat. Though his captain’s driving was of some concern, his relief at having his friend back where he could see him overrode any disquiet Spock may have felt. But his hand was firmly wrapped around the armrest as Kirk turned out of the parking lot and headed toward their destination. As they traveled down the almost deserted thoroughfare, the streetlights became far and fewer between. Once on the open highway, the city’s glow was soon left behind.

“Don’t worry, Spock. I won’t get us killed.” Kirk’s voice came out of the darkness that had enveloped them.

Spock deliberately released his hold on the door. “Your driving skills are—.”

“You want to give it a try?” It was almost a snarl.

Spock frowned. Would Kirk ever lose his lightning-quick temper? “I was about to say that your driving skills are quite good for the length of time you have had to practice them.”

Kirk’s apology was a hesitant “sorry.” But both seemed to lose any desire for conversation after that. The dark and the quiet held as the road stretched out before them.

*****

Kirk slowed the vehicle as he peered out the windshield. He was sure the turnoff was around here somewhere. Certain landmarks were the same as on his own planet, but the development of the area was nothing like his homeworld.

“Do you see anything familiar?” Spock asked.

“I’m not sure.” Kirk hesitated a moment and slowed even more. “Wait, there it is.” He pulled off the main highway onto an obviously little-used road. Dust billowed around them as the vehicle bounced from one hole to the next.

“Perhaps if you were to slow down...”

“You’re no fun,” Kirk chuckled but then lessened his speed. “It sure is dark out here. I would have thought we’d have seen lights by now.”

“Are you certain this is the correct location?”

“No, how can I be? Nothing here is exactly like Terra. But according to the plat map, the turnoff was the correct distance from the river we passed a few kilometers back. The farm should be here.” Kirk reached out and pushed in one of the knobs on the dashboard. “I’m going to turn off the headlights.”

Suddenly they were surrounded by pitch black.

“Is there a reason for this?” Spock asked, his exasperation beginning to show.

“One, I don’t want them to see us coming. Two, I thought maybe we’d be able to see any light coming from the farm.”

“There appears to be none.”

Kirk slowed the vehicle even more. “It’s got to be around here somewhere.”

“You are not even sure you are on the correct—.”

“Shut up and watch the road,” Kirk snapped. “Hey, wait a minute. Won’t the tricorder pick up something?”

Spock pulled the instrument from where it lay against his side and turned it on. “It does not register any power utilization, but there does seem to be a signature for refined metals approximately point one six kilometers ahead of us.”

“I think I see something. I’m going to take a chance and turn the lights back on.” Kirk’s eyes went wide in surprise and dismay. Seated ahead of them, the structure that shone eerily white in the headlights was a simple two-story clapboard in need of repairs and obviously abandoned.

Kirk opened the door and stepped out without taking his eyes from the house. “What in Hades is going on here?”

The passenger door opened and Spock got done from the vehicle. Walking forward through the beam of light, he continued his readings. “It is not occupied. There does, however, seem to be a power source that is not presently in use.”

Walking over to stand at the Vulcan’s side, Kirk glanced at the tricorder screen. “Do you think you can figure out a way to tap into it?”

Spock raised an eyebrow. “Is there truly a doubt on your part?”

“You really are a smug bastard, aren’t you?” Kirk laughed. “I didn’t think Vulcans bragged.”

“To be aware of ones potential is not the same as bragging. Besides,” Spock’s attention returned to the tricorder, “for whatever reason, power and telephony has never been disconnected. It is merely a matter of splicing into the source.”

“Good.” Kirk started back to the car. “Let’s get inside and get things working so I can turn this off.”

The padlock on the door turned out to be useless against Spock’s Vulcan strength, and after stumbling around in the dark for several minutes, they managed to get the lights working. They decided to leave off exploring the house until morning, so while Spock set up sleeping accommodations on the couches in the living area, Kirk went outside to shut off the vehicle. He went around to the rear and took out the package he had thrown on top of their supplies and headed back.

His way was made easy by the light coming from the house, and he found himself surveying what he could of the surrounding area. It seemed strange to him, finding this small house out here, all alone. On his own world, his family’s compound sprawled out to encompass several acres. What had happened here to so change the Kirk fortune?

He heard Spock step out onto the porch that stretched across the length of the house, a chair in each hand. “I have opened the windows to allow the heat that built through the day to dissipate. It should not take more than twenty minutes.”

KIrk grabbed one of the chairs and handed Spock the package. “Here. I got you some clothes to change into.”

“Thank you.” Spock glanced down at his torn and dirty trousers. “I shall do so in the morning.”

“There’s one advantage.” Kirk nodded toward the sky. He had placed his chair next to the railing and sat with his arms resting on top. “You can’t see half these stars from my home.”

Spock maneuvered his chair next to Kirk’s. “On Vulcan, my family’s estate is situated on the outskirts of one of our largest cities. But we do not light our living places as you do. After the brightness of the Vulcan day, the night is a welcome relief.”

“I remember as a kid taking off into the undeveloped land to the west. I’d find some nice comfortable place to camp out and spend the night gazing at the sky.”  
Kirk looked at his friend. “I always wanted to go out into space. Even after Tarsus Four.” He turned away, unable to hold even Spock’s gaze when thinking of that time.

“But you had your revenge.”

“You’re damn right I did. I practically begged the Emperor to let me be the one to deal with the Gorlans. My mother died on Tarsus thanks to Kodos and his rebellion.”

“Destroying their home world has not stopped them.”

“The Empire has been dealing with rebellions for thousands of years. This one won’t succeed any more than the others have, no matter what my counterpart told you.”

Spock stiffened. “I believed that issue behind us.”

Kirk shrugged. “It is. I guess I still wonder about him. Did he lose someone on Tarsus? Was he even there?” He thought for a moment. “That other universe was so...calm, peaceful. I can’t imagine that he did.”

“I do not know. He did not speak of himself.”

“But you knew he was close to your counterpart.”

“All the information concerning their relationship I derived from my meld with their Dr. McCoy.”

Kirk chuckled. “That must have been some experience.”

“It was not as unsettling as I believed it would be. That Dr. McCoy has a more disciplined mind.” Spock lowered his head for a moment and then straightened, as if coming to a decision. “He cares deeply for both his friends.”

“And you envy them that, don’t you?”

“Not so much what he shares with them, but what they share with each other. What I saw in his mind....”

“You said they were really close. T’hy’la. What else did you see?”

Spock took a deep breath and then locked his gaze on Kirk. “They are lovers. More than that, they are bondmates.”

Kirk didn’t know what to say. In all the ways he had imagined his double from that other universe, this was one that had never crossed his mind. “Lovers? Are you sure?”

“Quite sure. McCoy’s image of them was very strong.”

“It’s hard for me to imagine.” Kirk’s voice went hard as the implications hit him. “You envy them _that_?

“No, Jim, not the sexual congress. But that Kirk would never have need to suspect his Spock of disloyalty. They are of one mind, one heart. I have never had such a relationship. It...it is very enticing.”

“But won’t you one day? With T’Pring?”

Now it was Spock who turned away. “I do not know. We do not share a natural mental affinity and have chosen different life paths. I fear we will never have oneness.”

“Hardly anyone has that, Spock.” Kirk rose and rested his hand on Spock’s shoulder. “It’s late, and it’s cold out here. I’m going to bed.”

“I shall be in momentarily, Captain. I wish to meditate for a time.”

Kirk tightened his hand and then let it drop away. He’d upset Spock and hadn’t meant to. But it sounded like what Spock wanted no one person could give him. Well, he was in the same boat. He had never trusted any woman as much as he trusted Spock. He didn’t think he ever would. They would both have to get used to the idea that, ultimately, they would both be forever alone.

*****

Kirk woke to the smell of coffee. He lifted his head and looked over to the sofa on the other side of the table that separated them. It was empty. The “watch” he had bought the night before lay on the floor. It read eleven-thirty. With a snarled curse, he got up and hurriedly dressed.

Boxes of supplies were neatly stacked just inside the front door as Kirk made his way down a long hallway, following the sounds emanating from the back of the house. It turned out to be the kitchen.

“What are you doing?”

Spock looked up from whatever it was he was slowly stirring in the pot before him.

“I am hungry. I assume you are also.”

Kirk grinned and took a seat at the table centered in the large room. There were already bowls and utensils set out for two. He picked up the carafe and poured himself some coffee. “I see you already unloaded the vehicle.”

“I saw no reason to wait. I had slept sufficiently.”

“What’s with all the water bottles?” Kirk motioned to the empty bottles lined up on one of the counters.

“The water is contaminated. We shall have to limit our use or risk having to make a return trip into the city.” Spock turned and proceeded to serve them.

“Oatmeal?” Kirk grimaced. He really didn’t care for oatmeal. “This wasn’t in our supplies.”

“Yes, I know. There is a large supply of provisions in the small room to the left. I saw no reason to deplete our own stores when others are available.”

Kirk sighed and began spooning enough sugar into his breakfast to make it palatable. “So what’s wrong with the water?”

Spock took his seat. “There are high levels of trichloroethylene and trichloroethane in it.”

“Trichloro what?”

“They are compounds used on this planet as degreasing agents. Somehow, they have leached into the ground water. I assume that is the reason this house is not inhabited.”

“So why the supplies?” Kirk frowned. “You think they’re planning on coming back?”

“It is a possibility. Though I doubt it will be in the near future. The levels are quite high. But I am inclined to think that the inhabitants hope for an eventual return.”

“How dangerous is it to stay here?”

“As long as we do not drink the water, we will be perfectly safe. I would recommend using as little as possible to bathe with, however. I have been unable to find much information as to the long term effects and would rather we took no chances.”

“That’s fine with me.”

They ate quietly for awhile as Kirk pondered the information. Spock had certainly been busy. In fact, the only reason he knew that the Vulcan had gotten any sleep at all was because he had woken a few hours after going to bed and found his first officer asleep on the other couch.

Kirk reached for a piece of toast, slathering it with jam under the disapproving glare of his friend. “It’s not going to kill me, Spock. Besides, on this planet it’s probably one of the safest things around.”

“Unfortunately, you are most certainly correct. I do not understand their utter disregard for their environment.”

Finishing off his breakfast, Kirk propped his elbows on the table, a cup of coffee cradled in his hands. “It doesn’t make any sense. Most people at least play lip service to the Gods. I really don’t buy into it, myself. But even I’d be reluctant to pollute anything like this. I remember the stories my mother used to tell me about what happened to people who did.”

“Your planet’s people followed a similar path as mine. The Gods were only interested in us when we somehow wronged or injured something they held dear. Unless one found favor with one particular god, it was best to walk with care.”

“Right.” Kirk laughed. “I remember I was convinced the water sprite that inhabited the stream on our property had put in a good word for me with Neptune when I won the swimming contest at school.”

“How old were you?”

“Six...maybe seven. A couple of days before I had discovered the water damned up by a fallen log. It took me almost two hours to clear the mess that had piled up. I told my Dad about it. He told me that the water sprite was probably very grateful to me. Anyway, I spent the entire summer trying to get a glimpse of her.” He shook his head. “It’s amazing what stays with you. After all this time, I still don’t think I could do anything to that stream.”

“These people do not believe in the Gods.”

“Not at all?”

Spock leaned forward, steepling his fingers as he rested his elbows on the table. “They are monotheistic.”

“I remember reading about some early Terrans that were that way. It didn’t last.”

“It apparently did here. I have been studying the information downloaded into the tricorder. There was once an Empire similar to yours on this planet. Founded by a Gaius Julius Caesar who had no son to bequeath it to. It would last less than five hundred years.”

“The sign.” Kirk’s eyes went wide.

“Correct. Two worlds, both at one time having the same language. Coincidence? I think not. Who knows how many times the same scenario has played out, each with a different ending, in this universe alone?”

“So that’s it? All this because one man was never born?”

“Evidently. There are, of course, other factors, but Caesar’s child being a female, rather than a male, seems to be the deciding one.”

“That’s amazing. I can’t imagine living on a world like this.”

“But you do, Captain.”

Kirk scowled. “What are you talking about?”

“Quantum theory insists that the fundamental constituents of reality are not hard and indivisible. They behave as both waves and particles. Experimentation has shown that these particles appear to occupy more than one position at a time, clearly _do_ occupy many positions at once. And thus so do we, and so does everything else in the universe. Though under normal circumstances, we are able to see only one of the multiple states in which a particle can exist.”

“So how does this mean it’s me in the other universes?”

“because we, too, are made of these particles. Quantum theory has proved infallible in every conceivable experiment. Therefore, the rules must apply to us as well. We, too, must exist in many states at once. All possible events, all conceivable variations on our lives, must exist.”

“So every time I make a decision a new ‘me’ is created?”

“That is essentially correct. You take one road, while a shadow ‘self’ takes another.”

“That’s wild.” Kirk mulled over the information. Finally, he asked, “is this his world then, in his universe?”

Spock didn’t have to ask who Kirk was referring to. “I do not believe so. The evidence would suggest that he comes from that universe’s Terra.”

“And this place?” Kirk waved his arm out to encompass their surroundings. “What must this world be like in that universe?”

“Perhaps a world where the Empire survived but, like this one, a world that stumbled on its way to the stars. Who knows? Perhaps that James Kirk and his first officer are on that planet as we speak.”

*****

They spent the rest of the afternoon reconnoitering the surrounding area. Evening was coming on by the time they returned to the house proper and entered the huge barn which sat further back from the road. Several machines, obviously used for farming, took up a large part of its interior. Hay was stacked in the loft, a veritable paradise for the field mice who had made it their home.

Spock picked up a harness of some sort and inspected its intricate tooling. “Is your home a working farm, Captain?”

Kirk, busy rummaging through a box of tools, looked up and grinned. “Are you kidding? We grow the finest wheat and barley this side of the Rubicon.”

“That is a very _large_ area.”

“My Dad couldn’t stand being second best in anything.” He stood up, dusting off his hands as he approached. “After my mother was killed, he was...persuaded to leave the service. Up until then she had been the one really running things. But officers are a dime a dozen, and the Empire has to be fed. If he had to be a farmer, he was going to be the best damn farmer there ever was.”

“Your brother has followed in his footsteps, has he not?” Spock replaced the harness and the two men started outside.

Kirk nodded. “Sam runs most of the family’s major holdings. First born and all that. You can take the Celt out of Britannia....”

“You will receive nothing?”

“I’ll never be homeless, if that’s what you mean. And every family member has an account to draw on. But unless my father, my brother, and my brother’s oldest son all die before I do, it won’t be me running things.”

“For which you are heartily thankful,” Spock guessed.

“Could you see me stuck on Terra? No, I’d sooner die than end up grounded.” Kirk glanced over. “What about you? You don’t want to go back to Vulcan, do you?”

They had reached the house, and Spock opened the door, stepping back, as always, to allow his captain to enter first, before answering. “It is not a matter of ‘wanting.’ I am heir. My responsibility to my clan may make my return to Vulcan inevitable.”

Kirk didn’t respond, but later as he showered he thought about what Spock returning to Vulcan would mean to him. Their closeness had accelerated during their days on this planet. He didn’t like the idea that he might be setting himself up for a fall. Learning to trust Spock had been difficult. Learning to live without that trust would be harder still. He didn’t want to go back to the isolation that had been his existence. Damn the Vulcan, anyway.

Frustrated, he turned his back to the water and let the spray pound against his back. With one hand holding his weight, he leaned forward against the wall. The other he used to slowly manipulate his cock until the organ was stiff and full.

Gods, that felt good. He needed the release. The engorged shaft slid through his fist as he pistoned his hips. Kirk could imagine it buried in some woman, any woman. They were all the same to him. He threw back his head, his mouth open and gasping.

This was all that mattered. He wouldn’t allow himself to need Spock. There were always women around, willing partners he could drive his cock into and push back the aloneness. What did he need a friend for when he had this? He moaned and pumped his cock harder, his slick fingers working over its head.

He felt his balls tighten and cried out as his orgasm overtook him. Semen sprayed onto the wall and was washed away. Moments later, Kirk slumped to the floor, dejected. Who was he kidding? As good as this felt, it was nothing compared to the closeness he now shared with Spock. A chill swept over him. He struggled to his feet and stepped out of the shower. Wrapped in the large, thick towel, he wondered how he would warm himself once that closeness was gone.

*****

Kirk sat on one of the overstuffed chairs grouped around the fireplace, his feet up on the coffee table and a book propped on his lap. He randomly flipped through the pages. He really wasn’t interested in reading, but there wasn’t a whole lot to do once the sun went down. Spock had had their dinner ready by the time Kirk had returned downstairs from his shower, and now the two of them were comfortably ensconced in the living room. Across from him, his long legs stretched out on the sofa, Spock intently viewed his tricorder.

Two hours was long enough to struggle. “What’s got you so interested?” Kirk tossed his book on the table and crossed his arms over his chest.

“I am endeavoring to reassemble this planet’s recent history.” Spock didn’t look up.

“What for?”

Spock did look up then. “I find this world truly fascinating. So like, and yet so unlike, your own. Also, I was curious as to what precipitated the explosion which caused Stonn and Lieutenant Leslie’s demise.”

Kirk pulled his legs down as he leaned forward. “Find anything?”

“I believe so. Apparently, there have been several attacks of this nature. They are random, and meant to create feelings of helplessness and vulnerability. It seems to be a favorite method of retaliation for perceived wrongs done by one sect to another. According to the official records, this was just the most recent.”

“So we were just in the wrong place at the wrong time.” He leaned back and laced his hands behind his head. “Well, we should be safe way out here in the middle of nowhere. The only thing we have to worry about dying of is boredom.”

“Perhaps you would care to accompany me tomorrow on a second survey of the property.”

Kirk grimaced. “What for?”

“I have a theory as to the cause of the area’s contamination.”

“I thought you knew what caused it.”

Spock shook his head. “I know _what_ has contaminated it. I wish to discover _how_ it came to be this way. And, as you say, there is little else to do.”

“I’ll think about it.” Kirk brought his arm up and tried to see the face of his watch in the light cast by the fireplace. “What time is it, anyway?”

“Twenty three hundred hours,” Spock answered, his attention already refocused on the tricorder.

Kirk stood. “I’m going to bed. It took me three hours to get all the dust out of them, so I’ll be damned if I’m going to sleep on a couch again.”

“You did an excellent job of making the upstairs rooms usable. I, too, will appreciate sleeping on a bed.”

“Gods,” he swore, “I never thought cleaning house would be the highlight of my day. I don’t know if I can stand five more days of this.”

“I am sure you will think of something to do, Jim.”

“Easy for you to say. Well, I’ll see you in the morning.” Kirk grabbed his book and headed for the stairs.

“I shall be up momentarily,” Spock offhandedly remarked.

Kirk only shook his head. Knowing Spock, he’d be exactly where he was when Kirk came down in the morning. He grinned. Maybe tomorrow he’d hide the tricorder. Running from a raving Vulcan should give him _plenty_ to do.

*****

Rain. He hated rain. Kirk sat on the front porch and watched the light drizzle fall. The morning had started off sunny, but by noon the clouds had started to gather and the brisk dawn air had given over to a muggy cold that settled in your bones.

Kirk shivered and pulled his jacket tighter. He could barely see Spock who, totally oblivious to the change in weather, was slowly making his way further afield in his quest for information. Too much further, and Kirk would be forced to go after him. He didn’t like the idea of them being so far apart from each other. They both carried a phaser, but they had agreed it was safer to stay together at all times.

 _I should have hid the tricorder._ If he had, he wouldn’t be out here freezing his ass off. Not that being inside was any better. Kirk was getting cabin fever as the walls of the house closed in on him, spurred on, no doubt, by his continued inactivity.

“Damn it, Spock.” The Vulcan had walked behind some trees and Kirk could barely make him out. He stood up and walked out into the yard until his first officer was once more in view. He wrapped his arms around himself. Gods, it was colder out here than on the porch. Well, if he was going to have to stand out here, he was going to do something to alleviate the cold. Kirk walked over to one of the large boulders that bordered the front lawn. He pulled his phaser out and fired. The rock slowly began to glow red hot. He continued until he could feel the heat radiating off and warming the surrounding area.

Kirk glanced back in Spock’s direction. The Vulcan was even further away and heading toward an area that would completely block him from view. Kirk swore and mentally prepared himself for what looked like an unavoidable trudge across the wet and muddy field.

*****

Spock passed the tricorder over the ground again. There was no mistake. The groundwater contamination was widespread and getting worse. He wasn’t surprised.

By the time he had taken the stairs up to bed, he’d integrated all the information from the tricorder regarding this situation. There were sites such as this all over the planet. It was a legacy this world would probably take to its grave. He felt a frisson of disquiet. Resigned, he closed the cover on the tricorder. He saw no point in any further investigation.

Turning to return to the house, Spock frowned as he realized it was no longer in view. Kirk would be furious. At the thought of his friend, Spock’s anxiety increased and he quickened his steps.

The rain had turned the dirt to a slimy mud, and Spock had difficulty traversing the field. Haste made him careless. He went down, barely managing to land on his knees. He shook his head and propelled himself to his feet. The anxiety was now full blown terror. Something was terribly wrong. He could feel it slicing into his consciousness through his link with Kirk.

Spock finally cleared the stand of trees and the house came into view. He stopped, his breath coming in jagged gasps. Everything looked fine. But where was Kirk? Spock started running again, and didn’t stop until he was flinging open the front door.

“Captain? CAPTAIN?” Spock stood in the living room and looked wildly about. When there was no answer, he ran up the stairs, taking them three at a time. A quick check of the upstairs made it clear that the house was empty. He stood in the hallway, his thoughts careening wildly.

Control. He needed to control this panic that was overpowering him. Fists clenched, Spock fought to even out his breathing, to regain the calm he would need if he was to find his friend. Once he had himself in hand, he quickly returned outside.

“Jim?” Spock slowly made a circuit of the house, all the while scanning the surroundings as he called Kirk’s name. Back where he had started, he spied his captain’s phaser lying in the mud.

He approached it and came down on one knee. He recognized the distinctive pattern of Kirk’s footwear and the imprints of at least three other people. Spock glanced over at the vehicle still sitting along side the yard. Retrieving the phaser, he stood and walked up to the car. The rain had washed away its tracks from two days ago. There were no others. Whoever had taken Kirk had not arrived in a contrivance anyway similar to the one that had brought them here.

Spock studied the muddied phaser. He frowned. Up until this morning, both phasers had been fully loaded. Now the gauge showed a slight drop. The weapon had obviously been fired.

He looked around. There was no evidence of a phaser blast. Actually, there was little sign of any type of struggle. Spock concluded that Kirk had been taken by surprise, which would account for the swiftness of his capture. So what had Kirk fired upon?

As he started back to the house, Spock felt a slight raise in temperature as he passed the boulders along the path. He stopped and put out his hand, slightly touching those closest to him. The third one in was perceptively warmer than the rest. This, then, had been the recipient of the phaser’s power. But why would Kirk shoot at a rock?

Several landing party experiences came to mind, and he knew. Standing out in the cold, it would have been the logical way for Kirk to keep warm. Therefore, the phaser had been fired _before_ Kirk was attacked.

So what did he have? Kirk had been abducted, taken by at least three individuals. There was no sign that another vehicle had approached the house, nor could they have taken him on foot in the short amount of time Spock had been gone. That left—

A wave of helplessness swept over him. A phaser blast gave a distinctive sensor pattern; one that nothing on this world would produce. If a ship in orbit, scanning the area, were to identify the source, wouldn’t they investigate? It was the only thing that made any sense. Another space-faring people had destroyed the _Beagle._ This world was within the Orions' known sphere of activity. Spock looked up. He had no concrete proof, but he was sure that Kirk was no longer on the planet.

*****

The next four days were an eternity for Spock. He spent most of his time in meditation. It helped. He was able to forget for a time that his friend was more than likely in the hands of notoriously brutal slavers. But it was always there waiting for him; dark despair that swamped him the moment he emerged from that deep state of nothingness.

It occurred to him to attract their attention the same way Kirk had, but realized the folly in that immediately. There was no telling if he would end up with Kirk, and no sense having both of them forever lost, with no clues as to their whereabouts for the _Enterprise_ to follow. Helpless, he waited for the time to pass.

The last night was the worse. Perhaps knowing the _Enterprise_ would be contacting him within hours, Spock found himself working and reworking how he would find Kirk in the limitless reaches of space. But find him, he would. He never questioned his reasoning, his complete faith in his ultimate success. He could comprehend no other outcome.

Dawn was minutes away when the his communicator sounded. Spock flipped open the instrument and lost no time to explanations. “One to beam up, Mr. Scott. Immediately!”

There was no answer other than the distinctive feel of teleportation. Seconds later, Spock found himself on the platform in the transporter room, facing a determined chief engineer and medical officer.

“Where’s the captain...and your guards?” McCoy glared suspiciously.

Spock didn’t waste the time to answer. “Mr. Scott, I want a full scan of the surrounding area. Look for any evidence of recent ship activity, specifically, the signature ion trail of an Orion ship.”

“I knew there was something peculiar going on. Yon ship’s been sitting in orbit since we arrived.”

“Orion?” Spock asked. Was it truly going to be this easy?

“Aye. I’ve kept the planet between us so they don’t know we’re here. It’s a small ship, won’t be any trouble at all to bring it to heel.”

Spock nodded. “Very well. I want full power and phasers fully loaded in two minutes. I’ll be on the bridge. McCoy,” he turned to the doctor, “remain here. If I am correct, the captain has been held on that ship for the last four standard days. Your services will no doubt be needed.”

He didn’t wait for a response from the human but left immediately for the bridge. He was met on his way out by two of his guards, as well as by Farrell. He stopped as he and the human stared at one another. Volumes were spoken though not a word was exchanged. But Farrell was evidently satisfied, for when Spock started for the bridge once more, it was with his captain’s man directly behind his Vulcan counterparts.

*****

It was that easy.

Spock entered the bridge and went directly to the captain’s chair. “Lieutenant Uhura, open up a channel to the alien ship. Inform them to prepare to be boarded. Any resistance will be summarily dealt with.”

“Yes, sir.” There was a pause from the communications officer as the message was sent and received. “Sir, I have the captain of the vessel. He wishes to speak to you.”

“On audio, Lieutenant.” Spock waited for a nod from Uhura before continuing. “This is Commander Spock, currently in command of the _I. S. S. Enterprise._ To who am I speaking?”

There was a slight crackle of noise before the gruff voice of the Orion came on. “This is Captain Vitar. This is open space, Commander. I have every right to be here. Why are you threatening us?”

“We believe you are holding our captain. He disappeared from the planet below four days ago. Please lower your shields for immediate boarding.”

“This planet is not under the auspices of the Empire. Its inhabitants are fair game. Therefore, I will not allow you to commandeer my ship.” The Orion captain reached to end communications. “There is no point in further discussion.”

“Captain Vitar, either lower your shields or I will have your ship destroyed.” The threat was not an idle one. Spock was very aware of what awaited Kirk as an Orion slave. Death would be preferable.

Vitar’s hand slowly moved back from the controls. “There is no need for such drastic measures. I can assure you, we do not have your captain. We would never think to abduct a citizen of the Empire.”

“I will not argue. If your shields are not lowered in the next thirty seconds, we will open fire. Mister Riley,” Spock addressed the helm, “set phasers at full power to be fired at my command.”

“Commander Spock,” the Orion captain’s voice held a note of panic, “there’s no reason for this. We do not have your captain.”

“Twenty seconds, Captain Vitar.”

Outgunned, the Orions gave up without any further resistance. A full complement of security men were transported over, and with the Orion crew installed in _Enterprise’s_ brig, Spock began the painful task of emptying out the cells as he searched for his captain.

“There must be hundreds of prisoners,” McCoy noted in dismay. He had insisted on accompanying Spock and now the two of them stood at the end of another long line of cell doors. It was cold and dark. The metal walls were almost slimy from the dank atmosphere and the fixtures intermittently spaced gave off a feeble light.

“Given the size of the ship, and the crowded conditions they are housed in, I would say approximately seven hundred and thirty three.” Spock stood stoically as security men emptied out the cells. One level of the ship had already been cleared without a sign of Kirk.

“What are we going to do with them?” The doctor shuddered as another prisoner was carried by. The man blankly stared into space. Whatever had been done to him had destroyed his mind.

“Return them to their planet. There is nothing else we _can_ do with them.”

“Even him?” McCoy pointed to the passing prisoner.

“What would you have us do, McCoy? Most will have difficulty readjusting to their own environment. It would be the height of folly to attempt to integrate them into the Empire.”

“That’s not exactly what I had in mind. I know an owner of one of the larger gladiatorial training camps. Some of the healthier—”

“McCoy, I do not have the time or inclination to aid in your attempts at profit,” Spock answered disdainfully. “We are here to find the captain. Freeing these people is merely the most convenient method of dealing with them.”

“Mr. Spock! I think I’ve found the captain!”

Spock hurried over to the security man just withdrawing from one of the cells. “Where is he?”

“Fourth bed on the left, sir. But I couldn’t tell for sure if he was alive or not. He...he doesn’t look good, Mr. Spock.”

The door was partially open and inside you could see several narrow bunks lining the walls. On each bunk was a naked male. Spock slipped into the room and approached the bed.

He felt his stomach turn as he passed the first occupant. Dried blood dotted the man’s thighs from a recent and hurried operation. The second was worse. Hormones had obviously been administered, and the man’s body was already taking on a softer, rounder appearance. By the time Spock got to his captain, he was almost shaking.

The human lay face down. Shackles were locked onto his wrists and ankles, the connecting chains attached to the corners of the bunk. There were bruises on his hips and thighs.

“Jim?” Spock squatted down next to the bed and gently lay his hand on Kirk’s shoulder. Cold, his captain was so cold. His fingers tightened their hold and he shook the human in panic. “Jim!”

“Get out of the way, Spock.” McCoy was trying to shove his way past. “Damn it, man, I can help him.”

With an effort, Spock managed to stand and step aside. “Get those off him,” he ordered the guard at the door. Once the manacles were off, he helped McCoy turn Kirk over. There were more bruises, but his friend was at least intact. Spock looked at the doctor. “Will he live?”

McCoy was slowly passing his scanner over the inert form. “I think so. He doesn’t seem to have been beaten up or anything, but there’s a load of drugs in his system. The worst part has been the cold. Damn Orions. Not everyone can live the way they do.”

“Very well. Transport back to the ship with the captain. He is to be your _only_ priority, McCoy. Is that understood?”

“That’s fine with me.” McCoy moved back to make room for the security man to unlock the shackles. “I don’t want to stay here any longer than I have to.”

“I will be in the brig, interrogating the prisoners. Keep me informed as to his progress.” Spock turned and walked swiftly away. He didn’t know how much longer he could have gone without touching his friend again if he had stayed.

*****

Kirk came awake with a start. _Light, warmth._ He gave a sigh of relief and relaxed into the comfort of the bed. He’d never been so glad to be in sickbay in his life.

He could hear McCoy out in the outer office, barking commands to his ill-used staff. The sound was almost sweet. Kirk wondered what time it was. Damn, he wasn’t even sure what _day_ it was. He frowned. So much of his time on the Orion ship was a blank.

He remembered being overpowered on the planet. His captors had come out of nowhere. Transported to their ship, he was stripped, thrown into a cell and left alone for several hours. There must have been something in the water, because after that things started getting hazy.

Most of what he could remember was from the beginning of his imprisonment. He was sure he had been visited many times by at least one Orion. But why? Kirk pushed the blanket down to expose his body. Bruises, on his hips and thighs. Raped?

He lifted his hips slightly and slid a hand underneath. Carefully, he probed at the entrance to his body. It didn’t feel sore or tender. Even if McCoy had had to do some repair work, he’d be able to tell. No, not raped then. But _something_ had happened.

Another voice on the other side of the door. Spock. Kirk grinned. He hadn’t been conscious for ten minutes, yet the Vulcan was already here. He pulled the covers back up and waited for his first officer to enter.

Spock didn’t disappoint him. Within seconds the door opened and his friend walked in. His hands were casually held behind his back, his demeanor slightly informal. But Kirk could see it in Spock’s eyes. The Vulcan had been worried sick.

“Captain.” Spock approached the bed. “Dr. McCoy tells me your injuries were minimal. I am most pleased to hear this.”

Kirk smiled and sat up. “Yeah, my throats a little sore, but other than that I feel pretty good. I suppose the Orions can’t say the same.”

Spock grabbed a pillow and helped prop Kirk up comfortably. “We transported their ‘cargo’ back to the planet’s surface and destroyed the ship. Its crew now resides in our brig.”

“How long was I over there?”

“Four days.” A cloud passed over Spock’s face. “I was unable to effect rescue until the _Enterprise_ returned.”

“Four days?” Kirk shook his head. “Funny, it doesn’t seem that long. I could have sworn it wasn’t more than two.”

“What _do_ you recall, Captain?”

“Not much. Mostly being alone.”

The Vulcan’s brow went up in surprise. “We found you in a cell with several other prisoners. You do not remember?”

“No.” Kirk narrowed his eyes in concentration. “I remember one of the Orions' coming to my cell. I was on the bed...I think he injected me with something. I’m not sure though.”

“McCoy has sent a sample of your blood to the lab for complete analysis. He saw traces of several drugs, but was unable to identify them. Is there anything else you remember?”

Kirk pressed against the bridge of his nose, his eyes shut in concentration. “I think...something pleasurable. Something...”

“Captain?” Spock had moved closer and laid his hand on Kirk’s shoulder.

It was like a shock of electricity, the feeling that traveled from the Vulcan’s hand and spread through Kirk’s body. His head jerked up and he found himself drowning in Spock’s eyes.

“Captain?” Spock could apparently see the change, because concern now shaded his words. “Jim, are you all right?”

Kirk couldn’t find his voice. All he could do was sit there, his heart pounding. The hand on his shoulder felt like a brand, and he had to force himself not to reach up and cover it with his own.

“Jim?”

Spock drew nearer, and suddenly Kirk could smell the scent of him. He inhaled deeply and his conscious swam with thoughts new and forbidding. For a fleeting second he almost gave in. But then his mind rebelled and it took all this strength to push the Vulcan away. “I’m fine.” His voice was hoarse, as if from long use or...or what?

Spock didn’t say anything at first, stunned into silence by Kirk’s action. He cautiously appraised his captain. “No, I think not,” he finally responded.

“I’m telling you I’m fine.” Kirk’s jaw clenched. “Are we still in orbit?”

“No, sir.” The Vulcan lapsed back into formality. “Our new orders are to investigate an insurgency by Neural’s indigenous population and to restore order.”

“How long will it take to get there?”

“At our present rate of speed, taking into account the time lost in delivering the Orions to Starbase seven, approximately six point two days.”

“Fine.” Kirk kept his head turned slightly away from the Vulcan, afraid to look directly at him, afraid of what he’d see, what he’d feel. “McCoy’s keeping me here overnight. After that, I’ll be in my quarters for a couple of days. You can send your reports there.”

“You will not be returning to the bridge?”

He wanted to. By the Gods, he wanted to. But he didn’t dare. “No. Doctor’s orders. I’ll let you know when things change.” Kirk glanced up. “Dismissed, Mr. Spock.”

Spock hesitated, his eyes full of questions. “If I may ask, Captain—”

“No, you may not.” He glared in a battle of wills with his first officer.

Ultimately it was Spock who looked away. “Very well, Captain. If you will excuse me?”

As the door closed behind the Vulcan, Kirk slumped back into the bed, miserable and scared out of his wits. They had done something to him. And it was going to take the most important person in his life away from him.

*****

“Doctor, a word if you will.” Spock approached the ship’s CMO on his way to dinner. After leaving the bridge, he had waited here for McCoy, needing to speak to the man outside the earshot of their captain.

McCoy turned and gave Spock and his guard a nervous look. “What is it, Mr. Spock?”

The two of them had never gotten along, but he trusted McCoy’s medical opinion, if not his practices. “When do you plan on releasing the captain to duty?”

“I already did. Yesterday.”

Strange. Kirk had never made it to the bridge. “I was given to understand that he was confined to his quarters.”

“Yeah, until yesterday.” McCoy studied the first officer. “What’s the matter? Isn’t Kirk keeping you informed anymore? You two have a falling out?” There was almost a note of satisfaction in his voice.

“No, Doctor. I was merely verifying the Captain’s medical status.”

“Don’t lie to me, Spock. Even I noticed that Kirk hasn’t been spending any time with you.”

Spock straightened. “How much time the captain and I spend together is none of your concern. All I need from you is verification that he is fit for duty.”

“Why don’t you ask him yourself?” McCoy sneered.

“Is he, or is he not, fit for duty?” Spock noticed the glance from his guard. He was allowing too much of his anger and apprehension to show.

The human must have picked up on the anger, too, because his voice held a hint of fear when he answered. “He’s fine. I wouldn’t have released him otherwise.”

“And the drugs? What did you discover regarding their proposed effect on him?”

“Nothing. Whatever they pumped him full of had already broken down so much the lab was unable to identify them.”

“You are not concerned?”

McCoy shrugged. “Kirk says he hasn’t had any residual effects from them. If they’re not bothering him...”

Spock frowned. The medical lab was notorious for doing only as much work as was absolutely required. “I wish you to rerun the tests....personally.”

“Damn it, I don’t have the time—”

“You will find the time, Doctor. Or you will find yourself spending it in the Agony booth.” Spock walked sharply away, leaving the human openmouthed.

He dismissed his guard at his cabin door and immediately headed for his computer. He had broken the lock on Kirk’s medical records long ago, and now pulled up the most recent. McCoy had not lied. There had been no physical damage done to the captain, outside of a few bruises and a slight case of hypothermia. Yet, something had been done to him, of that, Spock was positive.

Kirk was avoiding him. Worse, he had been actively belligerent the one time Spock had tried visiting him in his quarters. The scene in sickbay had turned out to be but a small sample of things to come. And Spock had no idea what to do about it.

He missed Kirk, desperately. And he found himself continually chastising himself for allowing the human to get so close. He had tried to go on as if it didn’t matter. For, surely, he would be better off without the disruptions caused by his ties to the human. He was, after all, Vulcan, and he would control. But what good were his vaunted controls when all he felt was the wound left by his t’hy’la’s retreat?

Spock turned off his terminal and, with no chance of a call from Kirk, decided to retire. He undressed and padded into their shared bathroom. About to order the lights on, he noticed that none shone from beneath the door into Kirk’s cabin.

He kept the room dark while he silently approached the opposite door. He could hear voices. Kirk’s and another’s; a woman’s. Apparently, his captain had finally found himself someone to replace Lieutenant Moreau. No casual assignation would be allowed to remain so late. It had been Kirk’s strict policy, one that, no doubt, had facilitated the human’s continued existence.

With an unVulcanly sigh, Spock backed away from the door and then, bringing the lights up, proceeded to his shower. He stood and let the sonic waves cleanse him while his mind processed this latest development.

As much as he was loathe to admit it, Spock realized that this was the final nail in the coffin of their friendship. Kirk was reverting back to the man he had been before the transference with that other universe: hard, cold, separate. Obviously, the human was not having the problem Spock was divorcing himself from the relationship that had come to mean so much.

Perhaps it wasn’t Kirk, after all, who had changed. Though he couldn’t fathom what it was he could have done, perhaps it was Spock who was the cause of his friend’s change of affection. Had he so upset Kirk that the human could not find it in his heart to forgive him? Was the human so rigid that one misstep on Spock’s part would cause such a rejection? No. This change had come about between one breath and another. Spock could pinpoint the very second it had happened. Kirk had been happy to see him when he first awoke in sickbay—and then he had not.

With a brusque motion, Spock turned off the sonic and stepped out of the stall. He finished his nightly preparations and retreated to his bed. There was nothing he could do tonight. What needed to be said would be said to Kirk alone. He would know why Kirk had withdrawn his friendship. And somehow, Spock vowed, he would get it back.

*****

Spock cast a glance at Kirk. Since his appearance on the bridge this morning, the captain had been brusque in his manner to not just Spock, but the entire bridge crew. Whatever had created this schism between them was now affecting Kirk’s behavior toward everyone.

“I asked for a plot change, Mr. Riley. What exactly do I have to do to get it?” Kirk practically snarled at the navigator.

“Sorry, sir. I have it now.” The young man’s hand shook slightly as he input the new data.

Kirk swore and cast a glance behind him. “Lieutenant, let me know the minute I receive an answer from Starfleet regarding my request for personnel replacements.” His gaze swept the room, going from position to position. “We may have a few vacancies soon.”

Spock’s head jerked up in alarm. The Empire tended to look the other way when an officer turned up dead, though, officially, the practice was frowned upon. But it was the height of folly to, however indirectly, threaten the entire bridge crew. Was Kirk deliberately trying to get himself killed?

More and more, that suspicion was growing in Spock’s mind. Kirk’s visitor from the night before had turned out to be a lowly ensign. There was no way his captain would have taken the female as his woman. Yet Spock had seen her stroll out of Kirk’s cabin in the early hours of the shift change. Even more ominously, none of the captain’s guards were anywhere to be seen. He had almost gone to Kirk right there and then to demand answers. But his resolve had failed him. Now, there could be no delaying their confrontation. This was not just affecting the two of them anymore.

Hesitating slightly, Spock stood and approached the center seat. Kirk was busy scanning a report but Spock knew the human had noticed him. Yet, Kirk continued reading, ignoring his presence.

Spock cleared his throat. “Captain, if I may have a word with you?”

Kirk turned towards him. There were dark circles under his eyes, and his mouth was set in a straight, cold line. “What is it, Mr. Spock?”

“I wish to schedule a meeting with you at your earliest convenience.”

The human’s eyes narrowed. “What about?”

Spock pressed his lips together, his hands tightening behind his back. “It is of a personal nature,” he quietly responded.

“Now why would you come to me with something personal?” Kirk’s voice was heavy with sarcasm, yet there was an underlying tone of fear in his words.

Anguish tore through Spock. It had been an error on his part to approach Kirk in the presence of others. He saw that now. But it was too late to withdraw. And at least here, Kirk would be forced to respond. “Please, Captain. It is vital that I speak with you.”

Kirk looked forward, as if unable to face him, and for the first time Spock really _looked_ at his friend. Not just at his face, but at the entire man. Kirk’s hands were clenched into fists on the armrests of the chair. Yet a fine tremor could still be seen coursing through them. Droplets of sweat dotted the human’s temple and upper lip. And when Kirk finally turned back, his eyes were glazed over and held a silent plea that Spock did not understand.

“Jim,” Spock whispered, “what is wrong?”

“Spock...” Kirk appeared to reach out as his hand lifted from the rest. But then a shadow crossed his face and he seemed to withdraw deeper into himself. The once fierce charisma was blunted and withdrawn. “Come to my quarters at seventeen hundred hours.”

With that, Kirk turned away once more, leaving Spock with little alternative but to return to his station. Spock had been concerned and deeply troubled by the loss of Kirk’s affection. But now he was terrified that the friendship he had so prized was only the first of his losses.

*****

The room was dark, the only light the feeble radiance emitted by the small lamp on Kirk’s desk. His captain sat so that his face shone ghostly white within its cast. Spock let the doors of Kirk’s cabin close behind him and approached the human.

“Sit down, Mr. Spock.” Kirk motioned to the chair across from him.

Spock took the seat and waited. Kirk had a glass of liquor in his hands and a half empty bottle sat within reach. Whatever it was his captain had finally decided to tell him was apparently not going to be pleasant for either of them.

“Mr. Spock,” Kirk cleared his throat nervously, “I’ve been asked to recommend someone for the captaincy of the _Constellation._ Matt Decker just got himself knifed and they’re looking for a replacement from somewhere other than the ship.” He took a sip from the glass before continuing. “It’s the third captain they’ve lost in as many years. The ship needs a strong hand. I’m going to put your name in.”

Spock’s mouth went dry. He was stunned by the information and it took a few moments for his mind to form a response. “I do not wish command. You are aware of this.”

“Sometimes we have to do things we don’t want to do. You know that as well as I do. It’s for the best...all around.”

“Jim,” he saw the rejection of his use of Kirk’s name in the captain’s face, “Captain, I do not wish to leave the _Enterprise._ ”

Kirk shrugged. “You’ll get over it.”

“So, I have no say in this?” Spock stood and turned his back and let his anger have full reign. “I was a fool to believe you could maintain the sort of relationship that had grown between us. I allowed you to become a part of me, took you as t’hy’la. This is how you repay me. I should have known better.”

“Spock, I—”

“There is no need for further explanation, Captain.” He turned to face his former friend, but kept his eyes riveted on the wall behind the human. “My resignation will be on your desk within the hour. If that is all, sir—”

“Resignation? Who said anything about you resigning?” Kirk shot to his feet. “You can’t leave Starfleet!”

“Can’t I?” Spock responded. He was furious now. Kirk had withdrawn his friendship, yet had the audacity to think he could still control Spock’s life.

“You’ve been an Imperial officer. Do you believe you can just walk away from that? You’ve made a lot of enemies, Spock. We both have. The service is the only place either of us is safe.”

“Do not concern yourself, Captain. As I will no longer be your first officer, it will not reflect adversely on you.”

“That’s not it!” Kirk came around the desk and planted himself in front of Spock. “I don’t want you dead!”

“Why?” He grabbed the human’s arm, forgetting the difference in rank. All he knew was that Kirk _did_ still care, no matter how he seemed to be trying to deny it, and Spock would not leave this room without knowing why. “What difference should it make to you whether I live or die?” He jerked Kirk’s arm. “Answer me!”

“Damn it, let go of me.” Kirk tried to draw away, but was unable to break Spock’s hold.

Through the physical connection, Spock began to feel what his captain was trying desperately to hide. Kirk was afraid, terrified. Of him? No, the fear was of being alone once more, of losing what he held most dear. And beneath it all...Spock allowed their link to open all the way.

“Stop it!” Kirk began struggling even more as if realizing what Spock was doing.

Images coalesced. Images of Kirk beneath an Orion male, being taken and responding to it, desiring it above all else, but only from the one closest to his heart. Spock’s eyes went wide and he unexpectedly let go of the human.

Kirk stumbled back against the screen that divided the room. He slowly drew himself up as he nursed his arm against his chest. “So, now you know. Satisfied?”

“How—”

“Drugs and some machine I’ve never seen before.” He walked dejectedly toward his desk and took his seat. “Does it matter?”

“Jim,” Spock moved to regain his chair, “it matters a great deal. There may be a way to reserve the process.”

“No,” Kirk shook his head. “I’ve already checked that out. Apparently I’m not the first person the Orions have ever done this to. They’ve never been able to change anyone back. Pathetic, isn’t it?”

Spock ached for the shame and self-loathing that emanated from his friend. So much lost, for both of them. For what he had felt, was only for him. Kirk now desired no other. “This is why you attempted to drive me away. You feared my revulsion.”

“Well, aren’t you?”

“No, I am not. You cannot help what you feel. This was done to you. You did not chose to have this done.”

Kirk’s expression held a certain amusement with the scorn. “You don’t understand, do you?”

“That you desire me sexually? What is there to understand? The Orions forced this on you in order to sell you into sexual slavery.”

“What kind of sex-slave would I have been if the only person I was attracted to wasn’t around? Think about it, Spock. They wanted me to desire _males!_ ”

Spock’s eyebrows rose. “But that is not what you feel. All your desire is towards me.”

“Don’t you think I know that? It’s because I love you!” The last words were almost a sob. Kirk lowered his head and pressed his fingers against his forehead, shadowing his face. “They took what I felt for you, our friendship, and twisted it into this...thing inside of me. I don’t think they meant for it to happen, but they didn’t know...didn’t know how I felt about you. But I knew the moment you touched me that you were all I would ever want.”

He looked up and his eyes swam with the unshed tears that hoarsened his voice, “You must know I loved you before. You were the best friend I’d ever had. But I didn’t desire you. Now I do. And all you feel is friendship. That’s why I can’t have you around me anymore, Spock. It hurts too much.”

“Do you know me so little that you could believe I would turn from you once I knew this?” Spock shook his head. “You are still my friend, James Kirk. Nothing could ever change that.”

“There’s a world of difference between friendship and what I feel for you now. It can’t be the same for us anymore. I don’t want your pity.”

“I do not pity you. You are the strongest person I have ever known. And though I do not understand this thing you humans call ‘love,’ I know that what I feel for you is more rich, more fulfilling to me than anything else I have ever experienced with anyone. Is that not enough to allow our friendship to survive?”

“No,” Kirk whispered. “I know that just from what I’ve gone through in the last few days. I want you, Spock. In a way I’ve never wanted anyone before. All the women I’ve had in my life,” he shook his head in disgust, “I don’t think...no, I know, I didn’t love any of them. And I didn’t care how they felt about me, either. That’s the difference, you see. I trusted you, wanted you at my side, and worried about you when you weren’t. Now that I desire you, too, the kind of man I am, I’d probably end up hating you for not wanting me in return.”

“Is there nothing to be done for us then? Jim, I do not wish to leave you.” He felt an emptiness, like the deepest abyss, open up before him as he contemplated his life from this day forth. Without Spock’s awareness, Kirk had insinuated himself into his very being. There would be no filling the void the human’s absence would create.

Kirk leaned back in his chair and turned his head away. He sat there as if alone for several seconds. When he finally spoke, Spock understood that his exile had begun.

“I’ll sign your transfer—or resignation as soon as it hits my desk. That’s all Mr. Spock. You’re dismissed.”

His captain did not turn to watch him as he stood and walked from the room. And when Spock looked back as the doors closed behind him, he saw that Kirk had still not moved, once again no more than a ghostly image in the circle of light.

*****

Spock rested against the pillowed headboard, his hands folded across his abdomen. He’d returned to his quarters to contemplate steps that would forever change not just his life, but that of those closest to him.

There was, after all, a solution to their problem. The question was, was it one Spock was willing to take? He had to carefully study his options, carefully think this through. There could be no room for error.

Kirk. That he “loved” the human was really not in doubt. After listening to his captain’s own reasons for believing he held that emotion for his first officer, Spock was left with little choice but to accept that he held the same for Kirk. They trusted each other, completed each other. And if bonded, would desire each other.

And they would have the stars. Spock would have no reason to return to Vulcan. Together, he and Kirk would blaze a trail across the stars that would be the stuff of legend.

On the other side, T’Pring. She had agreed to be his consort, but only if he returned to Vulcan. There would be no children, but at least the honored place of head of clan when Sarek stepped down and the ambassadorship if Spock so desired. He and T’Pring would have a life of peace and contentment.

But he would have to give up the stars now. By cutting all ties to Kirk, he would be totally dependent on T’Pring’s good will. He could not afford to further try her patience. And he would miss his friend.

Spock sighed and sat up. Who did he seek to delude? He could not bear the thought of leaving Kirk. The link that already bound them had given him the first true happiness he had ever known. Life without the human would be a slow descent into a gray miasma of loneliness and boredom. It went without saying that bonding with Kirk would be the more desirable course. But what would his captain’s response be to such a suggestion?

Enough. Spock knew what his course of action must be. He closed his eyes and reached into his mind. The path to his link to T’Pring was dark, an ill-used corridor that neither had traversed since his pon farr. It was many moments before he saw the faint emanations of her thoughts reaching out to him. Without hesitation, he allowed her into the deep recesses of his mind.

He felt more than heard her. Whatever words she might have had for him were lost in the anger she threw at him as his intentions became clear. Spock had thought the greatest pain would be the struggle to make her let him go. What he had not expected was her bitter relief as she redrew from him. He would never know if it was a sop to her pride or if she had always held him in such low regard. It no longer mattered. From this day forth, his only concern would be for the man fighting his own pain in the next cabin.

Yet, there was much Spock still did not understand. Though heterosexual, Spock knew that Kirk had not been above taking to bed any young male yeoman he happened to fancy. His friend had never tried to hide that fact. It was an accepted practice within the Empire, to seek relief with a subordinate, be they male or female. Why then this overpowering fear at being a source of pity now that it was his exclusive inclination?

There was only one way to find out. He would go to Kirk. He would offer the bond and all it entailed. For truly, there was no other way now...for either of them.

*****

The bottle was almost empty, yet he still felt sober. Kirk pushed himself to his feet and headed for bed. Asleep was the only way he felt good anymore. Except for the dreams. Who would have thought Spock would come to haunt him at night, too? But he did, such wonderful dreams that depression would come crashing over Kirk when he woke to the cold reality of morning.

Strange how those dreams had brought back his memories of being on board the Orions' ship. Memories that were at once terrifying and glorious. He cringed when he thought of what had been done to him, those cold hands on his body and the horror of being invaded. Yet, he remembered responding to those touches and the flesh that filled him. By then, he’d had little choice.

Now the thought of Spock doing that to him could bring him to painful erection. He wanted Spock. But he couldn’t have Spock.

Dejectedly, he sat on the foot of the bed and worked his boots off, his socks quickly following. He’d started to remove the sash at his waist when the the tone for the door sounded.

Company was the last thing he needed. _It better not be McCoy._ With any luck, it would be an emergency that would take his mind away from his troubles. He returned to his desk before hitting the switch to unlock the door. “Come.”

The last person in the world he would have expected stood at the entrance. But Spock wasn’t in uniform. The loose fitting tunic hung to mid-thigh and draped over pants that clung to the Vulcan’s form. The midnight blue color made Spock look even more dangerous than normal. Dangerous, and the most erotic looking sight Kirk had ever beheld.

The Vulcan kept his hands behind his back as he stepped into the room and approached Kirk’s desk. He didn’t sit down. “I have come to a decision.”

Kirk’s voice deserted him. No, it was too soon. He’d thought to have a couple of days to at least know that Spock was still on the ship. All he could do was stare as the Vulcan took a step closer.

“I do not wish to leave the ship.”

Kirk forced the words past his lips. “You don’t have a choice in the matter. Either you—”

“Captain, please hear me out,” Spock interrupted. “I believe I have a solution to our problem.”

“A solution. That would be quite a trick, Mr. Spock.”

“Nevertheless, I think you will find that my proposition has merit.”

“All right, go ahead.”

Spock swallowed hard. It was a telltale sign, and suddenly Kirk became angry. “No! Whatever it is, I don’t want to hear it!”

Spock looked clearly stunned. “Why—”

“Because I know you, Mr. Spock. You’ve come up with some way to sacrifice yourself so that I can have what I want. Well, it won’t work. I don’t want your sacrifices, Spock, not anymore than I wanted your pity.”

“Jim, what I am advocating would not be a sacrifice on my part. On the contrary, I believe I would gain more from it than you would.”

Kirk’s eyes narrowed. “That’s hard to believe. But, okay, I’ll listen.” He settled back in his chair, intrigued in spite of himself.

“There is a way...” Spock looked down, apparently uncomfortable, “..a way to insure that each of us is of paramount importance to the other.”

“I don’t understand.”

“You asked if someday I would have a mental closeness to T’Pring.”

“I remember. You said you didn’t have a mental affinity.”

“That is correct. And for Vulcans, that affinity is the most important aspect when it comes to choosing a mate. There is one I feel such an affinity with.”

Kirk went cold inside. “No.”

“Jim, it would be the perfect solution. We could be together. We could have what our counterparts have,” Spock argued emphatically.

“So that’s it. I get you and you...what? Pretend I’m that other Kirk?”

“I want no other but you. It is you who has brought meaning to my life. But does it not add to the argument that our lives would parallel theirs?”

Kirk only stared, afraid to answer. He wanted to say yes so bad he could taste it. He loved Spock and his body was crying out for the completion only the Vulcan could give him. But could he play Caesar to Spock’s King Nicomedes? And would he be allowed to keep the _Enterprise_ once it became known that he had?

But most of all, what would it mean to Spock? To be referred to as one of the oft-maligned “warrior-mates” of Vulcan’s ancient past? Could he allow such a sacrifice, even if it was what Spock thought he wanted? No, he couldn’t.

“I don’t want to be bonded to you, Spock. I’ll get over this, even if it takes screwing every woman between here and Terra. You think I’d throw away my career on some sentimental dream of settling down and playing house? Go back to T’Pring, Spock. I don’t want you on my ship anymore. Now, get out of here!”

The Vulcan seemed to panic for a moment, as if unable to decide what to do next. But then a calm appeared to settle over him. He brought his hands to his side and came around the desk to Kirk. Once he stood directly in front of his captain, he sank to his knees and placed his head on Kirk’s lap. “Please, t’hy’la. Do not send me away.”

Kirk sat, frozen, unable to push the Vulcan away. “Spock, don’t,” he croaked.

Spock lifted his head, the long expanse of lonely years ahead already beginning to show in his eyes and Kirk was lost. He allowed the slightly trembling hand that stretched forth to settle on his face. It was what he wanted. He couldn’t fight it anymore.

It was a warmth that spread out from the warm fingers on Kirk’s meld points to inundate his soul. He could feel the Vulcan become part of him, inextricably linking them for all time. It was like nothing he had ever known, a comforting presence that would forever after be the focal point of his existence. It was Spock in his mind and in his heart. And he would never let him go.

He felt the caress across his cheek as Spock withdrew his hand. Kirk opened his eyes. He didn’t remember closing them, but so much of what had just happened was like a vague and diaphanous dream.

Spock smiled up at him. “It will become clearer with time. You will remember it, always.”

“Spock, I—”

Spock brought his hand up to place two paired fingers against Kirk’s lips. “It is past time for talk. I wish to make us one...in all ways.”

Kirk’s answer was to stand, pulling Spock to his feet at the same time. He took Spock’s hand and led him to the sleeping area. In his own way, Kirk would be in control. If it was to be his role to take the Vulcan into his body, then he would set the pace. He would give his lover pleasure Spock could never have dreamed of. If nothing else, the Orions had taught him that.

He slowly undressed and then turned to allow the Vulcan an unimpeded view. Spock had stopped at the entrance to the room and his hand tightened on the divider. Kirk could see desire spark in the dark eyes.

“Do you want me?” Kirk lay on the bed without taking his gaze away from Spock. He brought his knees up and spread his legs wide. He touched himself, his hand bringing his own cock to straining hardness while the Vulcan only stared. Kirk smiled and whispered huskily, “I want you.”

In a blur of motion, Spock divested himself of his clothing. He approached the foot of the bed and stopped. His breath deepened as though dilated eyes he watched Kirk pleasure himself. Finally, he moved onto the bed and knelt between Kirk’s legs. “Yes, I want you. I will always want you.”

Kirk removed his hand from his organ and reached out. “Take me then.”

When Spock’s hand settled lightly on his thigh, Kirk groaned and arched his body into the touch. It was like a brand on his skin, moving along the inside of his leg, inching ever higher. “God, yes, touch me.”

Fingers stretched over his thighs, lightly exploring as they made their way up his legs to dance over his stomach and across his chest. Kirk felt hot breath on his genitals and then Spock’s tongue licked along the crease between his leg and groin.

Kirk almost came up off the bed then, if not for the hot Vulcan hands pressing him down. Spock caressed his chest, pinching lightly at his nipples as he grabbed convulsively at Kirk’s body. All the while his tongue moved sensuously through Kirk’s pubic hair, nipping his balls, teasing Kirk.

Kirk brought his hands down to tangle in Spock’s hair. He pushed the Vulcan’s head down as he tried to force Spock’s mouth on his cock. “Suck me, suck my cock.” Kirk was almost delirious with want.

Spock stopped and raised his head only enough for Kirk for see the look on his face. Lust radiated from the Vulcan’s visage. Hunger for Kirk ruled him now, and Kirk felt a power like he’d never known before.

“You want it, Spock. I know you do. Do it to me. Do it to me now.” Kirk threw his head back with a cry when the Vulcan’s mouth engulfed his swollen organ. It was a caldron of heat that threatened to burn him alive. And when Spock started sucking on him, the wet noises filling the room, Kirk lifted his hips and buried his cock as far as it would go into that hot cavity. It felt so good, so damn good. Kirk’s hips began to slowly undulate, his cock slipping in and out of the Vulcan’s mouth. He felt himself lifted and he wrapped his legs around Spock’s shoulders.

He didn’t know how long it went on. Time had no meaning. Existence was the rapture of Spock between his legs, Spock’s tongue doing crazy things to his cock. Kirk didn’t even notice the pillow at first. All he knew was that Spock’s hands were free again and on his body. The slightest move on his part was enough to get the Vulcan to do exactly what he wanted him to do. He flexed his ass and Spock’s hands were there, fondling his flesh. The long fingers skimmed between his ass cheeks and pulled them wide to expose Kirk’s anus. Saliva had run between Kirk’s legs and unto his buttocks, so when Spock’s finger suddenly entered his body, it was wet and met no resistance.

A low moan escaped from deep in his throat. Kirk loosened the grip his legs had on the Vulcan. At the same time, he grabbed at Spock’s arms and tried to pull his lover closer to him. “Kiss me. I want you to kiss me.”

Spock looked half dazed as he struggled to obey the command. He almost fell on Kirk in his haste to react. With his fingers still buried in Kirk’s body he leaned over and covered Kirk’s mouth with his own.

Kirk had never tasted anything as sweet. He devoured the Vulcan. His hands were in Spock’s hair, holding handfuls in his fists. Small noises escaped his throat with the moans of pleasure. His sphincter clenched around the fingers plunging into his body, while he sucked at the hot Vulcan tongue in his mouth.

Suddenly his lover pulled away. Grabbing Kirk’s legs below the ankles, Spock pushed himself up on his knees. The Vulcan seemed to be barely holding on. He was panting, a half crazed look in his eyes. His neat beard was wet with saliva. “I need...I need...”

“You need me. And you belong to me now.” Kirk watched his lover through half closed eyes. The Vulcan was almost shaking with desire, with hunger. With a feeling of triumph, Kirk leaned forward and pulled Spock’s hips closer until the Vulcan’s cock nudged at the opening of Kirk’s body. “This is yours. Take it.”

Spock’s eyes rolled back as his organ slid into Kirk.

He choked back a scream as the shaft buried itself in his body, pulled out and plunged back in again. The Vulcan was in a frenzy, as if lost in his single-minded pursuit of gratification.

Suddenly the newly formed bond sprang to live, and then Kirk felt like he was dying and being reborn. The cock that pounded into his ass was nothing to the mind blowing sensation of Spock exploding into his soul. He could see all that Spock was, and what he was to Spock. And he knew that somehow Spock was seeing all that he was, too. He could hear noises, moans and sobs that went on and on but he couldn’t tell if it was him or Spock making them.

Kirk reached above his head and grabbed hold of the headrest. His body was being rocked from inside and out, and every time the Vulcan’s organ slid across his prostate convulsions of pleasure shot through him. His organ bobbed against his abdomen every time Spock pushed into him. And when the Vulcan froze and Kirk felt his rectum fill with heat his own orgasm washed over him. He moaned as his seed pulsed out and puddled on his belly.

He looked up in time to see sanity return to the Vulcan’s eyes. “Are you okay?”

Spock let go of Kirk’s legs and gently extricated his cock from Kirk’s body. He lay down to the side, pulling the pillow out from under Kirk’s hip as he made himself comfortable next to him. “I have never been better.”

“Me, either. You’re pretty good for a novice, Spock.”

The Vulcan almost blushed. “The bonding created a sort of semi-heat. I wanted you...desperately. But I have hurt you.” He touched at the bruises forming on Kirk’s hips and thighs.

Kirk shook his head. “No, you didn’t. And I liked how you got. Do you know how powerful I felt knowing I could do that to you? Get you into such a state? It was the best sex I’ve ever had.”

“Then I will look forward to being on the receiving end of such feelings. It should be interesting to watch you lost in such ecstasy.”

With a scowl, Kirk turned on his side and away from Spock. “That’s not even funny.”

“What is wrong? What have I said to bring offense?”

“You know that can never happen. You know it, yet you said what you said anyway.”

“Jim, I do not know what you are referring to.”

When he felt Spock’s fingers on his shoulder, Kirk abruptly sat up. “It’s never going to be me in you. Or don’t you remember what I told you?” He was practically shouting, but he didn’t care. He had felt love, but now all he felt was a crushing pain.

“I remember. But I do not believe it.”

Kirk was speechless for several seconds. How did one respond to such an asinine statement? Finally, he responded. “And just because you don’t believe it, it’s not true, is that it? Just because Spock of Vulcan wants cock up his ass, his bondmate is going to miraculously be able to give it to him.”

“Precisely.”

If Kirk hadn’t known better, he would have sworn Spock was toying with him. But he did know better. Given time to think about it, he _knew_ Spock would never hurt him. Ever. “What are you talking about?” he ruefully asked.

Spock sat up and folded his legs in front of him. “The bond is a miraculous thing. It binds us together, makes us one. And it allows us to find, and give, pleasure to each other in ways non-telepaths cannot comprehend.” He shifted around to face Kirk. “Do you honestly believe that I would have argued so fervently for a union that would be a mere travesty of one?” Spock brought his hand up to cup Kirk’s face. “No, t’hy’la. Whatever I can feel, _you_ can feel. That is the way of the bond. Nothing can change that. Whatever mental blocks the Orions placed so that you would be unable to complete penetration of another male are powerless against it. ”

“Then why don’t I feel like I can now?” Kirk was trying to keep the hope out of his voice, but he wasn’t doing a very good job.

“We have been bonded for twenty point three minutes. You must give it at least a little time.”

Kirk searched Spock’s face for any sign of doubt. There was none. Gradually, he let himself relax and he smiled. “Okay. I’ll give it...how long should I give it?”

Spock unfolded himself and drew Kirk down with him. He used the corner of the blanket to clean them both up, and then rolled on his back so that Kirk’s head could lay on his chest. “I would not be surprised if, before the night was through, I will have experienced the pleasure of being filled by you.”

“I can hardly wait.” Kirk snuggled closer and wrapped his arm around Spock’s waist. “I love what you did to me, but still...”

“ ‘King Nicomedes’? Really, Jim,” Spock chided.

Kirk’s head came up in surprise. “How did you know—”

Spock tapped Kirk’s brow. “Much is shared during the meld, especially if sexually conjoined at the time.”

Kirk shrugged. “It haunted him the rest of his life.”

“And he came to create an empire that exists still. Is that so terrible a fate?”

With a smile, Kirk lowered his head back down. “I guess not. But I think this is better, don’t you?”

“Immeasurably.”

Kirk laughed but then grew pensive. “Do you think something like this is why _they’re_ together?”

“No. Their McCoy was privy to their reasons. They loved one another from the start. They came together out of a shared need and desire.”

“Strange how we ended up the same way, even if it was by a totally different path. I wonder if it will always be that way. If our lives will always shadow theirs.”

Though Spock’s fingers were carding through his hair, he could tell the Vulcan was having a hard time staying awake. Yet he still managed to respond to Kirk’s musings. “Who can tell what is shadow and what substance? Perhaps we both are, perhaps neither.” He used his free hand to gently squeeze Kirk’s arm. “This is real enough for me. Let my counterpart have his worlds. I find mine quite satisfactory.”

Spock’s breath deepened and Kirk felt the Vulcan slip into sleep. Shadows and substance. Kirk grinned. Smoke and mirrors. He had what he wanted. He was happy. What more was there? And, somehow, they’d deal with the problems to come. He settled into sleep, giving no more thought to those other worlds. Except, perhaps in the back of his mind, for the slightly blighted one they had left days before. For good or ill, it had inadvertently given him this. Perhaps he would find some way to repay it. Perhaps.

 

Finis


End file.
